Breaking Sorrow

Stranger Danger

AAAAAH! I wake up feeling hot and soaked, i feel my face and feel..i think sweat? Oh god.

Panting uncontrollably, I'm not surprised that my dad didn't wake up, that deep sleeper, wouldn't know if a lunatic came into my room and started chainsawing me to pieces.

I get up and open the drawer that contains my number 2 pencils and notepads. Im not a drawer, nor scribbler, nor a person that loves art, Sue me if you think thats crazy but I've never been good at anything that involved colors and other crap.

Although, i am good at letting my emotions flow into song writing so that's what I'm doing right now, it calms me down and since we just arrived to this hotel hours ago, theres really no food so that means that i can't stress eat, Whooptie Doo.

I get up and just as i do, i faceplant to the ground and pull out my phone to check the time, 3:32 am.I still have 3 more hours to kill time before I get ready for High school.

I cuss under my breath trying to regain my strength and start walking to my chair. It's freezing but then its to hot when I grab a sweater.

Im going down, Im going timber..With a cold. Days just keep on getting better. I start with a simple line and go on feeling pressured from the holding back on the lyrics I'm choosing.

                          Strange By Mei Natomi

Wait a minute, i got caught up in the gist

Fingers curling, was that a farewell kiss?

Legs going numb, gonna bruise my knees and fall

Open my eyes, mirror showing the destroyed doll

Looking around, knowing that I'm in a daze

No,no,no I'm not going through a phase

All feelings smashed up into one, head exploding saying get up try to run

crying silently, watching normals mow the lawn

Look away, things are getting strange

An outsider, who never belonged, thinking that they've never wronged

fading away, the image you asked to stay

Already gone, waiting for day to reach dawn

Whisper before my voice dies, messaging all my unheard goodbyes

Strange how i fed off your lies, only thing I've ever believed were your eyes

I start blanking out and tried to imagine what my mom could have been like today, i can't help it, i left without saying a word and its a scar that'll permanently stay with me.

The saddest thing is that the last thing i asked my mom was for a cookie cause the jar would always be on top of the fridge, she looked a little sick but as a toddler, being clueless was kind of my thing, I'm wishing now that i cared.

6:04 am, I unpack my suit case and take out a silky tank top and jeans with purposely cut holes, I flip on my socks and tie up my converses, in other words, converses are my babies, i already see myself rising to the top at the school, my sarcasm stings some people but hey I'm alone in my head so who cares now?

At the place i used to live at, America, i'd easily get bullied by wearing glasses and having braces that made me look goofy af but I'm back and better than ever.

I'll hopefully be eating at actual tables and not in a bathroom stall. the struggles are real there. Just cause its a girl bathroom, and it smells pleasant, doesn't mean it is. I take like 10 minutes brushing my hair and another 2 mins brushing my teeth.

I apply on a little bit of lip gloss and accompany it with a Mac lipstick. I poke my eyes with the lil stick when i put on some eyeliner, fake eyelashes are just jokes. I grab my backpack and try sneaking out early but there's my dad in the kitchen making some eggs.

"Heey Daddio, mind if i go around the town, try to make some friends?" i nervously laugh, I'm actually annoyed in the inside because i almost got away with it but here i am, with my dad, still in the hotel.

"No no, come on Mei, i didn't wake up early just to see you leave before you even eat your breakfast, which took time to make."

I responded with a "Yeah, but either way, well, yeah, but" i faceplate myself feeling defeated and start dragging my backpack to the table.

I sit down for a few minutes pretending like I'm eating until he notices "Mei, could you stop this foolishness, at least take 15 bites and you can leave."

to think i was the only one annoyed. I grab my fork and start eating, with a mouthful of food i tell my dad "don't be scorning me when I end up puking in the schools hall." I give off a satisfying "hmph" and head out the door.

I CAN NOT BELIEVE THIS. I kneel down to grab my binders and folders that dropped during this girl decided to stick out her foot and tripped me.

"Nice going NOOB" her gang of friends start giggling and she sashays off to her next class, I pray for the teachers that deal with her.

Her friends looking completely lost, they give me a glare and run off to her like desperate little puppies. As i kneeled down to grab my stuff, a dude appeared and started helping me, i guess not all hope is lost.

As i was about to smile for the help he gave me, he's eyes seemed wide so i checked myself to see if anything was you know "wrong" until he bear hugs me. CANT A GIRL BREATHE!? i struggle while being hugged breathlessly by a complete stranger, I reach for my folder and slap his head softly so i wouldn't come off wrong on the first day of school.

I reach out gasping for air, controlling myself from touching his impressive face, i back up and try to control my breathing. He notices his actions and blinks waiting 5 seconds until he says something "Mei?"