Memories

Chapter 5

Sarah froze, her heart in her throat. "I– I'm sorry?" she asked, stammering.

"Do I know you from somewhere?" Tobin repeated, eyes narrow.

The young girl fidgeted, beginning to get nervous. "I– I don't think so," she mumbled. "Why?"

"I feel like I know you from somewhere... or I've seen you before," Tobin replied thoughtfully, biting her lip. Suddenly she pressed a hand to her forehead, chuckling. "Oh, wow, how could I have forgotten? I have seen you before!"

Sarah raised an eyebrow in confusion. "What?"

"Two days ago– I think."

At this, Sarah's face morphed into utter bewilderment. "Two days ago?"

"Yeah, I was holding some bags of balls and you held the door for me," Tobin answered with a smile. "Thank you for that, by the way."

Sarah felt waves of frustration over the fact that she had been so close to Tobin without even knowing it. "That was you?" she asked, trying to hide her frustration.

"Sure was. Wow, the irony," Tobin chuckled. "What's your name?"

The teenager's eyes widened, and she stammered, "U-uh, Morgan Carrasco."

Tobin smiled at her with a curious look in her hazel eyes. "Well it's nice to meet you, Morgan. You seem nervous," she noted.

Sarah chuckled sheepishly, nodding. "A little," she replied.

"Well don't be. If anything, I should be nervous," Tobin said, patting her on the back.

"Why would you be nervous?"
The older middy gave her a comforting grin. "Because, you came here all alone. That takes some major cojones, in my opinion," she answered.

Sarah leaned back, amazed at how easily Tobin was able to make her relax. The older woman seemed to give off waves of calmness that were so contagious.

"So, I see you have your soccer gear on, is there a camp going on around here?" Tobin asked.

The young girl nodded. "Yeah, there's been a week-long camp," Sarah replied.
"Who's coaching?" Tobin asked curiously.

Sarah wiggled her toes in the frigid ice bath before answering, "Kelley Press-O'Hara and Sydney Leroux."

"Whaaat? They're having a camp here, and they didn't bother to tell me? I'm gonna have to get on those two about that," the older woman said with mock hurt. "So what made you come seek out lil' ol' me?" she asked.

On the spot, Sarah answered, "Oh, well, you're one of my favorite players, and when I heard that you were coming to Portland the same I was going to camp, I just had to meet you."

Tobin looked down modestly, flattered. "Wow, thanks, kiddo. I hope you're not disappointed– I'm a bit boring in person," she remarked.

Sarah was quick to reassure her. "No you're not. You're definitely not boring," she replied, smiling.

The tanned woman smiled back, a twinkle in her eye. "Well I'm glad you think so. My life is relatively boring– soccer is pretty much my everything."

"Well, you do your everything well. But all the traveling must take a toll, and I bet you spend a lot of time away from family. How do you feel about that?" Sarah asked, moving the conversation towards what she was looking for
Tobin shrugged. "I don't really have a family. Well, I mean, I do in the conventional sense, but really, my teammates are my family, albeit, ever changing family," she answered.

"Do you miss it? Having a family? Like, would you want to have a family with a spouse, kids, like that?" Sarah prodded gently.

The other woman paused, thinking. "I don't know," she said, after some time. "I mean, there was a point in my life where I really did, but things changed, and I guess now I'm just focusing on the game." Tobin's mind wandered to the said time, to Alex and how they were almost ready to settle down, and have kids.

As she spoke, her eyes met Sarah's, and suddenly she felt like she'd been kicked in the stomach.

She was met by piercing blue eyes, ones she hadn't fully noticed before, ones that looked so very familiar...

Her thoughts were interrupted by Sarah, who asked, "Do you think you'd ever want kids? I mean, you must see kids a lot, when they come ask for your autograph during games?"

Tobin's eyes narrowed in thought as she replied, "Morgan, I don't really know. I mean, I love my life right now. I'm sure that had circumstances been different, I would've loved to have kids. But things changed, things happened, and now the game is my focus."

Sarah's chest felt hollow as she thought about Tobin's answer. "B-but you didn't like your life before?"

"Morgan– Morgan, I loved my life before," Tobin said. The middy's mind wandered to the time she wanted to have kids– when she wanted to have the life Sarah was talking about.

"Do you ever think about what happened before things changed?" she asked, slightly afraid of the answer.

The older woman winced slightly, so little that it went unnoticed by Sarah. With a hard swallow, she answered, "No." Tobin noticed how Sarah's electric blue eyes suddenly met hers. There was a look in them the middy couldn't place, but continued to talk. "I mean– you uh– you can't keep dwelling on the past, Morgan. You gotta keep looking towards the future, y'know?"

Suddenly, Sarah's eyes prickled with tears, and she felt as if someone had kicked her in the chest.  She swung her feet out of the ice tub and slipped her shoes on quickly.

Tobin sat up, concerned. "Wait– where're you going?" she asked, surprised.

"I–I have to go," Sarah said hurriedly, avoiding Tobin's gaze. Crap, I'm so stupid. How could I have possibly thought– she's so happy with her life, why would I ever think that I could change it? she thought, as she ran out of the recovery room.

After a few seconds of stunned stillness, Tobin leaped out of the ice bath to follow her. Barefoot, she ran out of the training center after Sarah, squinting in the sunlight, looking for her.

What did I say? she wondered aloud, running a hand over her ponytail.

Sarah turned the corner and ran face first into the stomach of Kelley Press-O'Hara. She quickly tried to wipe the tears off her face, but they didn't go unnoticed by her aunt.

"Sar–" she started, but her goddaughter pushed past her, sniffling. "Sarah, wait!" Kelley ran after her, putting her hands on her shoulders. She spun the young girl around to look at her teary blue eyes, and she suddenly understood what happened.
She wrapped her arms around Sarah as she mumbled, "Sar, it's– it's been a while, okay?"

"She doesn't care, Kel. She doesn't missed us, she doesn't care!" the young girl cried into her aunt's jersey. "I don't care either, I don't wanna talk about her anymore. Now I know why Mom doesn't talk about her!"

As Kel hugged her goddaughter, curious thoughts ran through her mind. She knew one of her closest (well, once closest) friends would never say anything of the sort, especially not to her Sarah.

Meanwhile, Tobin ran back into the training center and waved at Elizabeth to get her attention. The blonde receptionist muted her phone as she raised an eyebrow.

"Tobs, everything alright?"
Panting, the middy asked, "Morgan– did you see which way Morgan went?" When Elizabeth responded with a shake of her head, she sighed, running her fingers through her hair, and ran back outside– just in time to see none other than Kelley Press-O'Hara walk a crying Morgan back towards their hotel.

Suddenly, her heart felt as if it had dropped, and she nearly slapped a hand to her forehead. "How could I have been so stupid? Those eyes– Morgan," she hissed.
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Author's note: OMG IM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING BUT I HAD SCHOOL AND SOCCER AND VOLLEYBALL AND LIFE SO HERE YOU GO