Lovesick Fool

Twenty

Today Raph will tell me everything.

We decided to meet at a park after school. I'm so anxious yet excited to see him. I will do anything for him at this point. If he wants me to stab a random person, I'll do it without hesitation.

"You need help," Liz tells me with a grin.

"I do not," I say and we laugh.

"So what are you guys then?" She asks.

"He doesn't know it yet but we're married," I mumble. She swats me playfully and shakes her head.

"You are in too deep my friend," she says.

"Yeah maybe I am."

"That's okay. I ship it," she says happily.

"Good cause I do too," I reply.

We say our goodbyes before parting. The park that we are suppose to meet in is nearby. Its a wonderful park with lots of hills and trees. The sun is barely out and I've never been so fond of the weather before.

I begin to run. The faster, the better. Somewhere along the way I catch a glimpse of Mona Lisa across the sidewalk. I see her with someone but by the time I can see who it is, she turns to my direction. I panick and run faster.

All of a sudden I bump into someone and fall to the ground.

"Really fucker? I don't have time for this. I'm in a rush!"

Raph.

I get up in an instant and cover his mouth.

"Leo?" He manages to say in a muffled tone.

"Shhh," I demand. I refuse to tell him she's near so I drag him down a hill and we run. He doesn't even question me, just follows. The thing about this park is that it has lots of enormous trees, so its easy to disappear.

"Are we far enough?" He asks while panting.

"Yeah," I reply.

"Are you okay?" He touches my shoulder and forces me to look at him. "What was that about?"

"Yes," I reply. "I just uh, got excited?"

He studies me for awhile but eventually shrugs. "Okay then."

We travel a little further until we somehow decide on the perfect spot. He sits on the ground and begins to break sticks. I sit right next to him and lay my head against the tree behind us.

"You tell me when you're ready," I tell him softly. He inhales deeply and breaks more small sticks.

"One tear only," he begins. "Mom always told me to only cry one tear. That's all I remember from her."

How does one cry only one tear?

"She was a tough person. My dad abandoned us as soon as I was born. Told her that I was a burden. She wanted me to grow up like her. Cold hearted and strong," he says.

I wait as he pauses.

"My mom. She uh," his voice breaks and he hugs his knees. "She went from a nurturing mother to a monster. She started to abuse me, blaming her life problems on me."

My stomach twists into knots.

"She did things to me that a mother shouldn't do Leo," he says and cries. Fuck. I already dislike this.

I hug him as tightly as possible and kiss his head. The same way he did when he found out about my incident with Ms. Ramirez.

"One day I got into the habit of stealing. I got caught and got in trouble so much," he continues.

"Why would you steal?" I ask.

"Because I wasn't being fed at home. Nobody understood that. I was too young to tell anyone," he answers. "I stole people's lunches until eventually everyone hated me."

My Raphie was not fed as a child. I tighten my grip on him.

"Because of that, I would get harder punishments from my mom. Everyday she reminded me how pathetic I was. It got to the point where I wanted to die. I wanted the world to end. It came to the point where school was heaven for me. It was an escape."

"Teachers would notice my bruises but wouldn't say anything about it. One time Mom was called and accused of child abuse but she completely lied to them. She told them I was  wild child with a crazy imagination."

"Oh dang," I say.

"The basement became my new room. It was so cold. One day I met my dad. He recognized me when I was about to steal from a grocery store. As a child I was excited but he only spit at me and told me how disgusting I came out to be."

"That's bullshit," I say through clenched teeth. "Did your mother ever find out?"

That triggers him to cry harder and he nods vigorously. "No but that was the day I-I killed her."

"You what!" I force him to stare at me and he takes deep breaths.

"It was an accident I swear," he sobs. I crawl in front of him and make him lean against my chest. He quivers uncontrollably and we have to wait until he can speak again.

"Everyday I had a chores to do. We lived in a two story house and it was a lot of cleaning involved. I had to clean the windows and I happened to find a lighter on the ground. She smoked a lot," he explains. "I was so curious and I played with it."

"Fire," I mumble. "Oh my gosh did you..?"

"She saw me with it and got angry. She started to hit me again and I-I didn't mean to burn her."

"Oh my." I cover my mouth and begin to cry with him.

"I was scared and defenceless. She was forcing me to vomit since I was stealing food from the trash cans. And I somehow lit her up on fire. I just stood there, not knowing what to do."

He lifts his head up and stares directly into my eyes. "I felt nothing Leo. Throughout all that I felt nothing watching her burn. She was screaming and looking for water. But instead she fell through the window I had opened."

"Please stop," I beg and now I can't seem to stop crying. "Oh my God I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have made you tell me."

"You didn't make me do anything," he says and hugs me. "That felt so good. To just let it out."

"Thank you," I say and wipe my tears. "Thank you for sharing that with me. You don't have to continue."

Raph smiles weakly. "Don't thank me. Just kiss me please."

I kiss him and wrap my arms around his neck. He makes me lay down on the grass and continues to kiss me. We separate to catch our breaths.

"I would never hurt you," I say and touch his lips. "I'm not your mother. I'm not your father. I'm not Mona Lisa."

He chuckles and traces his finger on my plastron, making me shiver. One of his tears fall on my cheek. "You're the shy bastard who makes fun of me for liking roaches. And I love you too."

My face breaks into a huge grin. I begin to cry again in happiness and scream,"Fuck yes!" Now I can die happily. I want to hear him say it again but I pull him close to me and kiss him more instead. This is all I ever wanted.

"I'll save you," I say in between our kiss. "I'll help you love yourself as much as I do. That's a promise I made, and a promise I'll never break.

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Okay so this is PART of Raph's story and I wanted to reveal that because it plays an important role on this story. Its basically two broken people in love. Leo has his own story too but that will come in time ^~^

This is chapter twenty and they both love each other at this point so yaaay!!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and hope you have/have had a great day. Love u guys!