Between Me & You - n.r.

Chapter 8

Hailee's POV

I entered my house and closed the door behind me without looking back. I knew Nick was still there, watching me, probably upset that I blew him off.

He was going to kiss me. Why would he do that?

How many times had I pushed that possibility away? It always seemed like there was this wall between us. I was on one side and he was on the other. But today, Nick broke through the wall and I wasn't sure how I felt about it.

Either way, I complicated things by running away.

Good job, Hailee. 

+ + + + + + + + + +

The next day at school, I sat down at my lunch table like usual. I wasn't expecting Nick to join me today, but he did. 

He was acting... normal. Like it never happened. 

"Hey", I said cautiously. 

"Hi", he responded in a normal tone, with a normal look on his face.

"How's it going...?", I asked.

"Fine. You?"

"Umm... good."

He looked up at me and smiled. 

Did my rejection mean nothing to him?  I guess it wasn't a big deal to him like it was to me. That meant that it was a momentary thing and it would never happen again. 

Oh well, time to move on. 

+ + + + + + + + + +

In the car that day, Nick turned on his music, as usual. He was quiet, but we usually were on the car ride home. 

Today's song was eerily relevant. I knew it wasn't planned, but still. 

Drive by Halsey came over the speakers.

"So", I said awkwardly. Why am I awkward? He isn't awkward. "This is a good song."

"Yeah it is", he answered. 

I paused, not knowing what to say. Instead of talking, I decided to focus on the song. I couldn't make things worse that way. 

All we do is drive
All we do is think about the feelings that we hide 

Hidden feelings? That's all that Nick and I were right now. Awkward pauses and hidden feelings. Right on, Halsey.

All we do is sit in silence waiting for a sign

Nick looked at me quickly and I took that as my "sign". 

"Nick, we should probably talk about-"

"About what?", Nick interrupted. He was avoiding the topic. I would too if I hadn't caused the problem. 

"About yesterday..."

"What about yesterday?" 

I was sick of him dodging bullets. Now, I was going in for the kill.

"Nick", I said impatiently. "You almost kissed me yesterday."

"And?"

"Shouldn't we talk about it?"

"God Hailee. What is there to talk about? I tried to kiss you and you ran away. Pretty self explanatory if you ask me", Nick said angrily. 

"You caught me off guard", I answered quietly.

"How is that possible? How can you expect everything but not this?"

"You're blaming me? I wasn't expecting it, Nick. That's it. It's not that I didn't want to-"

"Did you?", Nick asked really quietly. If I wasn't listening for his voice, I would have missed it. "Want to kiss me, I mean."

I stopped to think about my answer, but I wasn't satisfied with anything I could come up with. I went with the truth.

"I-I don't know", I said.

There was a long pause. The only sound in the car was Halsey.

It's so simple but we can't stay
Overanalyze again
Would it really kill you of we kissed?

Nick's eyes went wide and he turned off the song immediately. 

"It was a mistake", Nick whispered so quietly that I didn't hear it the first time.

"What?"

"I said it was a mistake. I shouldn't have tried to kiss you."

"Why are you saying that?", I asked.

"I'm too bad for you, Hailee. All I am to you is a drug dealer who can't take care of himself in any legal way. I'm just a criminal to you. Aren't I? Isn't that true?"

"No, it's not."

"I shouldn't have told you about the drugs. I shouldn't have called you out in class. This whole thing has been a mistake." He looked over at me. "You were a mistake."

I was shocked and for once, I let it show on my face. 

"I was a mistake?"

"Bad boys can be hurt too."

"Pull over", I said quietly. 

"What?"

"Pull over!", I practically yelled. 

"Come on Hailee-"

"Just let me out."

He stopped protesting and pulled over. I climbed out of the car without another word and started the walk home. I didn't look back at Nick as he drove away.

Instead of thinking about Nick, I focused on the walk home. It wasn't long. About 15 minutes. 

I didn't need to think. I had a song stuck in my head. The same lyrics replaying themselves over and over in my mind.

Would it really kill you if we kissed?

It was ironic. Kissing him probably would kill me. That made it even more ironic and I found myself laughing. 

I started thinking about what would happen at school tomorrow. It was unpredictable, really. He was right, after all. I expect everything, but I can't expect anything from him. The thought left me unsettled. 

My mind was destroying me. Overthinking and overanalyzing this situation was only going to make it worse. To calm myself down, I recited the parts of the brain and all their functions and thought about how proud my dad would be. 

Using neurology to calm myself down was hitting rock bottom in my case. 

Can only go up from here, right?

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Hey guys,

Here's chapter 8. Sorry it took a while. So we're getting into conflict which is exciting to write, so I'm looking forward to writing more. The song mentioned in this chapter is Drive by Halsey and I really recommend it. Thanks for reading guys!

That_Epiphany