She's Not Afraid

Chapter 18: Our New Year

Niall: I had my arm wrapped around Maggie as we walked away from the airport terminal. "That was fun," I said, opening Maggie's car door.

"You know it kind of was. Thank you, kind sir," Maggie said, the last part in a mocking British accent.

"You know, you worry too much," Niall said.

"I do?" Maggie asked.

"Yes," I said, nodding, "Tonight I am going to take you out."

"You are?" Maggie asked.

"Yes. Since I leave in two days for London, I want to have our New Years tonight," I said.

"I see. So what do you propose?" Maggie asked, looking at me.

"The whole works. We'll go clubbing, then head back to your place, then do the count down to midnight," Niall said.

"Sounds fun. Not to mention one night of rule breaking," Maggie pointed out.

"You can spare one night," I smiled.

"Oh yeah," Maggie said.

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Maggie: Getting ready was like that first time you drag out your bike in the summer. Or the first time you kiss your boyfriend in a long time. Its been so long that doing it feels good. You feel free, like you could do anything. Getting ready was like that.

Okay maybe the dress I was wearing was a little too short. It was black and reached about a quarter of the way down my thigh. Not to mention the low V-Neck that even more skin and my nearly five inch, black heels. I pulled my hair into a messy bun and smudged my eyeliner the way I always had. I also added a little teal glitter to my eyelids, since it was New Years. I smiled at my reflection, the twisted, sexy version of me. "Hello old friend," I said to my reflaction, not caring how insane I sounded.

Niall picked me up, eyes bulging at my outfit. "Woah," he said.

"You like?" I asked, giving him a look.

"Oh yeah," he said, "I am a male."

"Thanks," I said, closing the door behind me, "Lets do this.

The club had about fifty people in it, every single one on the dance floor. Niall and I strode out, and I started dancing the familiar rythum of clubbing. Bouncing, spinnning, lettting my arms hang free in the air. Niall had a look on his face. "What's the look for?" I asked.

"Just thinking about how Jess would chew this guy to pieces for this song," Niall said. I smiled. We continued to dance, talking stripped to a bare minimum. Niall wasn't the best dancer I had ever seen, but he beat out most of the guys I usually partied with, who usually hung by the bar and drank, yelling at me to twirl of jump. I let myself go, letting the familiarity of it all sooth my soul. I loved it.

After a few hours, we decided to head back to my place. Niall pressed me to the wall, almost instantly, kissing me. I kissed him, his lips feeling like silk against mine. He moved his hand down my waist, I pulling him closer. I pulled away, "Niall."

"Yeah?" he said.

"I was curious, would you want to be my date to the movie premire. Everyone else will have one and I want you to go with me," I said.

"Of course. I'm honored," Niall said. We kissed again.

When we pulled away I looked at the clock, "Almost midnight," I giggled. We kissed again. A second later Niall pulled away.

"Ten," he said, then kissed me for another second, "Nine, he did this for a while, until I pushed him away.

"Three, two, one," I whispered.

"Happy New Year," he said. Then we kissed again. We pulled away, a look in his eye I had never seen before. "Maggie," he said, and I could feel his heart beating under my palm, which rested on his neck, "I just wanted to say that, I love you." We kissed again, my heart raced.

"No," I said, pulling away. I realized I had blurted the word.

"What do you mean?" Niall asked.

"I mean, no. Just don't say that," I said.

"Why?" Niall asked.

"Because, didn't anyone teach you. Love isn't real. It was made up for music and movies," I said, pain showing in my eyes. Niall backed away.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, "Do you like, not believe in love?"

"No. I don't believe in anything that's not real," I said.

Niall looked hurt, "So you're saying you don't believe what we have is something special?"

"I believe its strong affection," I said, "Not love."

Niall went over and sat on my bed, running his hand through his blond hair, "I don't believe this."

"What?" I asked, sitting next to him.

"I thought I was different for you. Not just another guy you wanted to play," Niall said.

"What? You are different. I mean, you really are. I mean-" Niall cut me off.

"No, I'm not any different. And you know what, its my fault. For thinking you could love me, when I'm pretty sure you've loved too much to even be capable of it," Niall was nearly shouting. I felt like I'd been slapped.

"No one is!" I said, "That's what I'm saying. LOVE ISN'T REAL," I said. Niall got up off the bed. "Where are you going?" I asked.

"I'm sorry Maggie. I though we could have a future. Now I realize that was a fantasy that I used to lie to myself," and he was gone.