She's Not Afraid

Chapter 19: Gone

Maggie: You know, I expected a phone call. I called him to see if I was driving him to the airport, although it turned out he just let me go to voice mail. I hurt. When I got up to go to the movie shooting, I felt as though I could have laid in bed for years. But I couldn't. I had to move on. Good thing I was a good actress.

Niall: I was at the airport and Louis picked me up. "Hey dude," he said.

"Hey," I said, too sad to even bother covering my sadness.

"Whats got you down?" he asked, nudging me.

"How about you mind your own business," I snapped. Louis raised his hands in surrender and I looked down at the ground.

"Maggie?" Louis asksd. Why couldn't he keep his nose in his own business?

"Yes. Could you please just leave me alone?" I asked. Louis bit his lip and nodded.

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Once we were at the Malik New Years party, I tried to hide my misery. "Hey Niall," Jess said, who was spinning her records over her pregnant belly.

"Hey," I said, my voice less sad sounding than before. I saw Louis whisper something to Zayn, who nodded but didn't say a word. "What's a guy gotta do to get a drink around here?" I asked.

"One Drunk Niall, comin up," Louis muttered under his breath. Zayn handed me a drink. She's gone, I let myself think before pressing the drink to my lips. That's the last thing I remember.

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The next few days, I felt sick. The first day was the obvious hangover. But after that day I just hurt, like if I could be in bed forever it would go away. I walked up to Zayn while we were getting ready for a show one night, "Zayn?"

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Um, I have a question," I said, feeling like a five year old.

"I kind of figured that out," Zayn laughed.

"When Jess was gone, did it actually make you physically hurt? Or was it strictly emotional," I asked, feeling tears ready to spring from my eyes.

"Niall, I don't really know what to tell you. I mean, it was like, um, something had been ripped from me. I guess I don't know how to explain it. How are you doing with the whole Maggie thing. You willing to talk yet," he asked.

"At this rate, I probably never will be," I said. Then I flopped into a chair and let the stylist get to work on my hair.

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Maggie: Have you ever done something or said something only to wake up a fee days later and realize you were wrong. I have, although mine was locked in a course of a dream.

It started like all the rest, my nightmares about the movies I was filming. I was staring at myself. "No, I heard the familiar voice say. Niall, "I think you have loved so much now you are incapable of it." I saw myself scream.

"No, Niall. Love isn't real!" I screamed.

"Really Maggie?" Niall asked, "Are you sure?"

"Yes!" I screamed, topiling over in a pain I could see from the outside. Pain and sadness.

"Was it proven?" he asked.

I watched as my twisted face thought, "No."

"Well then how can you know we would never have anything?" Niall asked. I saw myself smile.

"I don't. Niall we could have something!" my face was pure joy.

"Only we can't," Niall whispeered in my ear, "You can't fix some things Maggie." Then I watched as I was the one to go up in flames. And the only thing that hurt worse than the flame was the realization it was over. Over with the best.