He was scheduled to leave that night, but he didn't. Something deep down told him he should stay, that even though he knew their relationship would never be the same, he might catch a glimpse of her smiling face.
Three weeks had passed since he came back to Academy City and he still hadn't spoken to Mikoto. He had seen her, sure, but he could never work up the nerve to actually go up to her. He didn't even know if she knew he was still here, but even if she did would it really make a difference? If she did, would she go looking for her?
She is everywhere I go
Everyone I see
Winter's gone and I still can't sleep
Summer's on the way
At least that's what they say
But these clouds won't leave
It had been a month since she gave up on him. How long had it been since he gave up on her? That, she didn't know. She didn't know if he had given up at all, knowing Touma, he hadn't, but there was a small doubt that pulled at her heart saying he had moved on. In hindsight, she realized she should have stayed, she should have waited for him to find her on that seemingly insignificant park bench, yet she also realized that maybe losing him was for the best. Not saying his name hadn't been difficult for her, not thinking of him was another story. All of her friends, save for Kuroko, thought she hadn't been heavily affected and that she was over him, but she wasn't, she feared she never would be. Fortunately for her, he wasn't around to remind her of what she was missing. If she saw him again, she knew she wouldn't be able to save face, it would all be over. Her facade was only so strong, and all it would take to break her was one word from him, one look, one... one anything, really, whether it be rejection or an apology or both, she would fall down right there, crying, and all her hard work would be for naught. Despite being relieved that Touma wasn't around, she wasn't about to say that she enjoyed him being gone. Really it was a miserable existence, at best. The memory of him was strong, and it wasn't going to be purged from her mind anytime soon, so what was she to do?
This is the memory
This is the curse of having
Too much time to think about it
It's killing me
This is the last time
This is my forgiveness
This is endless
He saw her laughing. It broke him. Completely and utterly broke him. She had moved on without him and there was nothing her could do to reach her.
Now spring has brought the rain
But I still see your face
And I can not escape the past
Creeping up inside
Reminding me that I
Can never bring you back
She could've sworn she saw his face in the crowd. She thought for a fleeting moment all her walls were going to crumble down and her heart stopped. But when the people parted, he was gone. She wasn't sure if she had really seen him or if her eyes were playing tricks on her. Honestly, she didn't know which would have been better. She was no longer sure of what she wanted. She had no way to find out, so she ignored her heart, and went on as if nothing had happened.
This is endless
Someone help me
'Cause the memory
Convinced itself to tear me apart
And it's gonna succeed before long
