Broken

Chapter 2

When I got home after school, I ran straight up to my room and started sobbing. It's no fair that all this had to happen to me. Everything that I held in through all those tough times came rushing out of me. I had my face in a pillow to muffle my cries. During the fight, I didn't sob once. Maybe a had a few tears, but I never cried. It only makes me feel worse and all these terrible thoughts rush through my head.

I don't want to have to face my problems. I don't want to go to school. I don't want all this drama. I don't know what I want! Every time I state something that I don't or do want, I feel more selfish. I sniffle and take my face out of my pillow. I had stopped crying and went to look at myself in my mirror. My face was really puffy and red. My mascara was smeared all around my eyes.

Great. I thought. Now I'm going to have to fix myself up before my parents get home. I washed my face off and just as I fixed my makeup up, I heard a knock at the door. I ran down the stairs and opened it. I gasped and backed away when I saw who it was. Why are they here? I can't start crying again. That's the problem. When I start crying, I can't find a way to stop.

Ember looked me in the face and smiled. "Hi Mae. I haven't seen you for a few months." I mumble that I haven't seen her either. I Can't bring myself to force a smile. Why is Ember and  Asia here? When Willa and I were all alone, they were never there for us. "We just wanted to talk to you Mae." Ember said. "We wanted to apologize."

I couldn't help it. I don't want them here stirring up my emotions again. I can feel my anxiety deepening and I start to feel claustrophobic right where I'm standing. "You want to apologize for ruining my life? For taking Camari's side when you knew who the real one you should've felt sorry for was Willa? Camari had no right for being pitied. You should've comforted Willa."

I could see them start to feel bad. "I'm sorry Mae." Asia said quietly. She closed her eyes and I could see a tear drip down her cheek. She turned around and started to leave but Ember stayed.

"I know you hate us, but did you really have to make Asia feel that way? We just wanted to start this year with a good start. We wanted to be your friend again. I know we can never be the same, but you are still amazing to me. And if you need anyone, Asia and I are still here for you." She smiled sadly and turned to catch up with Asia.

I was left there, speechless. All summer I blamed them for what happened to Willa. I think they also accept that they influenced their decision. It always makes me feel bad when I hurt Asia's feelings, she's so innocent. She wouldn't hurt a fly. But still, I blame her. I blame all of our friends who didn't stand up for Willa. I blame her mothers death and her brothers attempt at suicide.

Why did this have to happen? I close my front door and go back up to my room. I don't cry, but a tear finds it's way onto my cheek. The memories come flooding back engulfing me in their darkness. The memories that gave me nightmares for months, and still occasionally find their way into my dreams.

It was spring break and Willa and I were having a sleepover. After the day Camari and her started fighting, I became closer to her, and farther away from Camari. We were at the park swinging on some swings, exchanging funny stories, seeing who would have the funniest one.

"I walked into the skate park with my new skateboard, hoping I would be a natural." Willa says. "I saw some hot boys and yelled 'watch what I can do!' I then stood onto my board and attempted to go back and forth on the half pipe. But when I first stood on it, I lost my blance and flew off onto my butt. The skateboard went flying and hit one of the boys in the face. I then stood up and yelled 'I meant to do that!' and ran away."

"Seriously Will!" I say between laughing fits. "OK- OK you win!" I say. I couldn't stop laughing and didn't notice Willa was staring off at something frowning. After maybe three minutes I died down and saw the state Willa was in. "Are you OK?" I ask, that silly feeling still not all the way out of me.

"Not really. But I just want to have fun and not talk about it right now. OK?" Without thinking I nod and start running to the slide. I saw her from the corner of my eye running after me. I rush up and fly down with my hands in the air.

"WOOHOO!" I yell. Willa laughs and meets me at the bottom. I crash into her and we both burst out laughing. I check my phone and gasp at the time. "Oops it's already midnight. Probably should go back home before my parents yell at me." We start going toward my house. We walk in silence and I can tell something is up. "Will, do you want to talk now?"

She sighs and says, "OK. I'll tell you what's been going on." We take a turn from my house and start going on a short walk. "My dad has started drinking. It makes him angrier. He often yells at my brother and I. Also, my brother's depression has gotten worse. He talks crazy a lot, making sarcastic comments about death or what not. It's really effected me. I think I'm starting to get depressed also."

She wipes a tear from her cheek and I put my arm around her. "It's also Camari. She keeps getting more angry with me. I tell her that this is stupid and that we should just make up. But she said that I need to apologize and to stop talking about my crappy life." With that she put her face in her arms and she starts sobbing.

"Shh Shh it's OK..."

She yanks up, "No it's not Mae! Everyone hates me. There's no one left to care about me. I'm all alone. This world is not worth living in." She snaps.

"Will. Don't say that. I love you with all my heart, you're my best friend. No one hates you, they just need a little space for now. I promise you Will, this will all clear up. You're just to caught up in the rain right now. Sometime in the near future, you will get a grand rainbow to bring some color to your life."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

Yay two chapters in one day! I really like this story, it makes me want to update. Please enjoy!

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~Cassadilla