All in all, Riley was a bitch.
She demonstrated it every chance she got. Sweet to some people, awful to others, two-faced and plain old mean.
I'm sure she had her reasons. When doesn't anyone? But that didn't stop her from making me feel like crap. Throughout that year of school when I first met her, she had been a friend-stealer who talked behind my back constantly. I was used to it though; being the geek I am, it's hard not to have people constantly talking crap about me. I guess I never really thought about it as bullying, though. It kind of just seemed like what happened.
Yes, Riley was a bitch, but we had many common friends. And towards the end of the year, we were forced into an awkward friendship.
You see, that was the real start of everything.
A new year had rolled in, and Riley and I had started becoming better friends. She was still a bitch, but less of one. And I had let myself be fooled into thinking that maybe, she was actually good under her double-faced exterior.
What a fool I was.
It became just the four of us— me, her, and our common friends that initially spurred our friendship. I have a feeling that none of them really cared about me, except for Zoë. Aside from her, no one was there when I needed them when in turn, I was always there for them.
Apparently they didn't notice.
It was towards the end of November when me and Riley's friendship bloomed. We had texted each other constantly, shared all of our thoughts and secrets, lost in the petals of new friendship, never knowing when it would wither and die. I had always thought that once you stopped seeing someone as an enemy, they would have so much potential as a friend.
I wish I can say that I still think the same way. But I'm not going to lie.
The texts from her gradually dwindled, from getting them twice every 0.4 seconds, to getting them once every day, to once every few days, to once every week, to never. December came, and the tides turned.
Riley had found some shiny new 'popular' friends, which had replaced me, Zoë and Robin. I guess she was embarrassed of us, because if she was with her popular friends, she would avoid us, ignore us, even hide if we were with her to avoid being seen with us.
But I remained as loyal as she had dubbed me, back in the days when everything made sense. I stood by her side, when she couldn't care less about me. I was there when she needed me, and she never noticed.
One time, in those days of early December, she told me that only two people in all the world that cared about her. They were apparently her best friends, and neither of them was me. I was broken.
But no matter how broken I was, I wanted one thing.
I wanted her to burn.
And why shouldn't she? She hurt me. Beyond compare. And those two people who 'cared'— one had so many best friends she couldn't count them all and the other had been broken like me and was aspiring to be rid of Riley. I wanted to tell her; I wanted to tell her oh so bad that her perfect friends didn't care at all. But I didn't.
Oh, I almost forgot. In the springtime, her bitchiness had peaked. She insulted me constantly, tormenting me with her silver-bladed words and making me feel like nothing. It wasn't just me she was breaking; it was Robin and Zoë as well.
Me, Robin and Zoë had vowed that over the summer we would tell her how much she was hurting us and detach from her friendship, but we didn't. I think that we were trying to hold on to her a bit longer before we had to let go.
But when the third year rolled by, I had made new friends. I had a new four; me and Zoë remained, but instead of someone who doesn't care and another who broke me beyond fixing, I have two new, amazing friends who I wouldn't give up for the world. Zoë, Clarisse and Simon are the most amazing friends in the universe, and I'm not worthy. They are the water, air and earth to my fire, my balance.
I may have been broken, but I'm being mended. Because my friends are some of the best things that ever happened to me, and Riley can't compare to them.
I am still broken in some ways. I had never noticed that Clarisse seems to text me like Riley did, and when I finally did notice, I was so scared that Clarisse would leave me too. I asked her not to leave, but I don't think that she understands the depth of the question. She promised wholeheartedly anyway.
I guess I'm lucky. Even though I've had a tough time, I wouldn't take back any of it. Because the betrayal of Riley made me who I am, and helped me find the true Four. My true friends.
And Riley, if ever you read this, I just want to tell you that I forgive you.
Because by breaking me,
You fixed me.
Sincerely,
-Lyra.
