The Hipsters

Birthdays.

So, in the following days, after my departure with Silas and all his glory, I came down with a sickness. No, I don't fucking mean I was lovesick. Although, I couldn't look at any picture of him, in fear that I might cry.

Cry.

And to think, a couple of months ago, that exact word no longer existed in Bea's Big Book of Vocab (Est. 8th Grade).

Something smelled like syrup. I got up from my spot in my bed and saw Hazel eating her way through a stack of pancakes, as if there were a prize at the bottom. "Hazel, what are you doing?", I asked.

"I'm doing what you always do. I'm stuffing my face in the hopes that my life will seem better.", she said.

Touché.

"Fine. Just don't get any syrup on my carpet.", I sighed.

Today was a school day, but seeing as my sinuses were shit and I couldn't see anything out of my watery eyes, I skipped classes today. Didn't feel like I could be any less productive in school than I already am. That shit takes energy.

I honestly think my mom forgot she gave birth to me this week, because there can be no other explanation as to why all she can talk about is her engagement. I mean, yes, weddings are stressful and overwhelming, but that problem can be easily solved: elope. And then spend the time you were supposed to with your kid.

Rubin climbed into the bed and licked my face, causing me to sneeze. "Fuck, Rubin.", I scolded. I hate sneezing. You look like a fucking idiot when you sneeze; one eye out of its sockets. Your lips hanging off your mouth, the sudden loss of balance; it's a mess.

He purred.

"Don't talk back to me, Rubin."

"I love Rubin.", Hazel sat up and sighed at him. I gave her a look.

"Beatrix, I'm not a physics test. Stop fucking staring at me."

"Hazel, what's wrong with you today? In fact, what's wrong with everyone today? I feel like I'm peppy, and yet I'm sick. That's a huge problem."

She sighed. "Why did I tell Colin I wanted to get back together? Now he's all I can think about and it's driving me batshit crazy.", Hazel folded her arms atop her legs.

I shrugged, and rubbed Rubin's head. He's a Grey Tuxedo, and I swear his fur is the softest. He's also the fattest cat I've ever seen. It was a miracle he climbed the stairs.

"I love Rubin too.", I said. He jumped off the bed and scurried out of the room.

"Well, fuck you too!", I said after him, in my scratchy voice, at which Hazel laughed.

+ + + + + +

Later on that day, we decided to take Rubin for his first dose of exercise this year. I know, I'm a wonderful owner.

"The last thing Colin told me was that he'd call. It's been, what, 2 days?", Hazel announced.

"Maybe he forgot.", I shrugged.

"You don't just forget to call your girlfriend. It's kind of something you do.", she pointed out.

"Or maybe, he's fucking his neighbors brain's out.", I attempted to cheer her up. Though the look she gave me told me my efforts were wasted. I didn't have time to try again, because Rubin had begun to piss on something. Someone. And Hazel was now chuckling at Rubin's actions.

"Rubin, what the fuck?", I sighed.

I looked up and saw a flushed looking Max. He looked back at me, obvious annoyance apparent on his face.