The Hipsters

Fields

"Thanks, Mrs. Haverford.", I half-smiled, as she handed me a packet of the pre-calc work I had missed. She gave me a funny look. It was Thursday.

I felt as if someone had knocked the life out of me. I found myself studying more, showing up to school, and actually doing my homework. Or maybe because the only thing worse than being cheated on, for me, was not graduating with your class. Probably because it meant I would have to stay behind a year and keep seeing the one face I didn't want to. Whatever the reason was, I kind of liked it.

And I'm pretty excited for Paris. I've reading up on the places I want to go. Like window shopping on Champs-Élysées, and pretending to understand the complexity of the Mona Lisa. I also find myself wanting to take more walks around Boston. I feel like I'm changing, and I'm the first person to be conscious while it's happening.

On the walk home from school, I stopped in that Belgian cafe and ordered a slice of chocolate cake. I took a huge bite, momentarily forgetting that Beatrix Benson doesn't have a job. So, I finished the slice and ran out of there before a waiter could present me with a bill. But seeing that my apartment is just minutes away, it didn't take long for one of the employees to find me.

"Hey! Thief!", she shouted, pointing a finger. What exactly did I steal? I ate the cake in front of them.

She gave me a dirty look before turning around. Well, that ends that cafe for me. Maybe I should've asked her if Belgium has better hot chocolate than Paris. My mom probably would've minded if I skipped the wedding for food, though.

I entered the building, smiling at the old ladies and Adam, who was getting the mail. I held the elevator for him as he hurried in.

"Hey, you're smiling again.", Adam noted, checking the mail.

I shrugged. "I'm excited for Paris."

"I know, me too. Won't the wedding be amazing?", he grinned at me. I nodded encouragingly. If only he knew...

+ + +

"Hey, mom.", I nodded at her. She was on the computer looking at dresses.

"I've been thinking about this all day. Should I buy the dress here and be practical, or should I buy the dress in Paris, and be spontaneous?", she asked me.

I opened a bottle of water, and took a huge gulp. I needed something to wash down the cake. "Mom, you are practical. Look 'practical' up in the dictionary, and there's your name. But, this is your wedding. Your life. If you want to change, go for it. You only live once, mom. Do what makes YOU happy.", I said, combining all the bullshit phrases she always uses on me.

She gave me a long and hard look. "You're right. I'll buy the dress in Paris."

I smiled. "You caught my drift." She laughed, as the phone rang.

"I got it!", Adam shouted from the living room. He answered the phone, and just seconds later, his face drained of color. He walked over to me, placing a hand over the speaker. "It's him."

I sighed.

"Look, I played football in college, and I still remember some moves from my karate classes when I was a kid. If you need me to, I could totally take care of him-"

"No, Adam, that won't be necessary.", I stopped him. My mother hid a laugh. I took the phone and pressed END.

"See? Problem solved.", I said.

"What is so funny?", Adam asked my mom, as she continued to laugh.

"It's just...you never told me you knew karate. And you've never even been in a fight.", she said. He grinned. I watched them, subconsciously laughing at Adam and my mother's conversation.

+ +

Today, was another one of those days, where I had the urge to photograph everything. So I walked around Boston with Rubin in tow, and my Argus holding a new pack of film. I left the apartment feeling hopeful for the first time in days. I've been trying to find something to photograph, blow up poster size, and hang on this bare wall in my room. But the closest I've come to doing so is this picture I took of a daisy in a field of grass.

I was also hoping I didn't run into either of them today, too. I was tired of being indoors and sad. I wasn't ready to talk to Silas or deal with Hazel, but I wanted some peace from extreme emotions for my sanity.

However, I couldn't help but wonder: What about Colin? Was Hazel breaking up with him? Was she even going to tell him? Or was she hoping that this whole thing would blow over and everyone would forget about it and laugh about it 10 years from now? Also, wouldn't Hazel be considered a hypocrite? She criticized and yelled at Cat for sleeping with Colin, but then she turned around and tried to do the exact same thing with Silas. Emphasis on 'tried.' I may be heartbroken, but I still know what I saw.

Where the hell is she staying now? Did Silas let her sleep in that apartment above his? Was she sleeping in the Public Garden? And what do I even begin to say to Silas when we inevitably are alone in Paris?

Before I could elaborate on that thought, however, Rubin ran off. So, I was forced to chase after him, weaving through throngs of people whilst excusing myself profusely and mentally cursing out Rubin. Until I found him, perched right next to someone's feet. The sad part was, I recognized that pair of Gazelles.

They were black and white, with the dark brown scuff from years of soccer in England. I recognized the beat-up, but comfy looking Levi's, with the frayed, rolled up cuffs that he owned. Then I saw that damn gray cardigan. The cardigan that I had laid my head on so many times. The cardigan with the scent of cologne, mint, and some other boyish smell that usually relaxed me. Then, I saw his face. My heart broke again. I was dreading seeing his face, in fear that Friday night's emotions would come rushing back.

And that, they did.

I scooped up Rubin, and put his leash back on. For a minute, we stared at each other, saying nothing. Then he spoke.

"Beatrix. I'm so sorry...I hate myself. Every minute of the day, I remind myself of what I did, and what an idiot I am. Because I lost you.", he said, saying my name.

Did he think that helped?

"I've been up, all day. I haven't been able to sleep."

Whoopty-damn-do. I've been crying my eyes out since Friday night, and I've never felt more alone, or betrayed in my life. I remember everything, and that sucks, because it keeps replaying in my mind. "You cheated on me and broke my heart! And you want me to feel sorry for you because you couldn't sleep today?", I wanted to scream at him. But I didn't.

"Please...just don't.", I said instead, not looking at him. Then I turned around and started to walk away. I took one photo. It was of a couple holding hands, watching the swan boat rides.

+

"Bea, how does Sunday sound for you? We could just look around the colleges. I know you need to pack, but it's a couple of days in Paris.", my mom asked. I told my mom that I was thinking of deferring for a year to figure what I want for my life, but she insists that we still college hunt.

"Mom, I have the weekend to pack.", I told her, ignoring her question.

"I know, but you said you had homework.", she replied.

"Yea, but I can do it on the plane.", I said. She shrugged.

After my mom had gone to bed, I continued to watch T.V. even though I had school tomorrow. And even though the sound was low, I still didn't hear Adam walk over to me.

"Shit!", I exclaimed, jumping up.

"Shh.", he said, glancing towards my mom's bedroom.

"What?", I asked.

"What are you doing after school tomorrow?", he asked me.

I gave him a weird look. "Why?", I asked him.

"You know your mother better than anyone else. I...uh, need you to help me go wedding ring hunting.", he said, nervously.

I laughed quietly. "I would be delighted."