Jessie's pov
niall had left, he was gone for 3 whole months.. i dont know how im going to cope without him. i was sitting on the steps leading to the back garden, tears streaming down my face already. austin called that dinner was ready, i didnt feel like eating so i told him to chuck it. it started to rain, my clothes getting drenched as i failed to move. austin came running out, carrying me indoors as i stayed in my own world, blocking everyone out.
"jess, please eat something" austin said as we watched tv
"im not hungry" i snapped
"well your baby is, so please eat, for your baby, for niall too" austin said
"fine..." i said picking up the plate of food austin made for me.
After i had eaten i went to bed, leaving austin downstairs watching tv. I lie there, smelling Niall's jumper that he left on the bed, his scent still there. While cuddling his jumper i fell asleep..
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*2.30am*
I woke up with exgruciating stomach pains, i wasnt sure what was wrong but i needed help and couldnt just get niall back here, could i?
"AUSTINNNN" i shouted as i lay in bed clutching my stomach
"Jess? whats wrong?!" he said running in
"M my stomach, it hurts so bad" i said trying to sit up
"right, im taking you to hospital whether you like it or not" austin said, carrying me outside to my car
"call niall" i said to austin while he was driving
"i will when we get to the hospital ok" he said pulling into the hospital car park
Austin carried me out of the car into the hospital, a nurse rushed towards us, leading us to a maternity room, hang on, what?
"nurse, you do realise im not due for another 4 months or so??" i said as she was taking my notes
"yes i know dear, just checking up on you in here, seen as though austin mahone is here, the paps would be all over you honey" she said smiling at me
"ah yeah i see, so whats wrong with me??" i said looking at her slightly nervous
"well we've done some tests, its nothing to worry about, dont panic. Its just where the baby was moving around, but quite quickly causing you a lot of pain" she said
"are you sure your not saying that to calm me down? because im in pain here ughhh!!" i said while holding austins hand
"well i do have a few concerns because the babys suddenly stopped moving and his or hers heart rate has dropped..." she said with worry in her eyes
"w whats that mean?" i said with tears building up
"i just need to get the doctor i'll be back with you in a second hun" she said hurrying out the room
"austin. whats happening?" i said as i started to cry
"i dont know, but everything will be okay.. niall isnt answering at the moment babe so i left a message" austin said hugging me tightly, i smiled a little and continued to cry.
I was so scared, am i loosing the baby?! i was crying so much because i wished niall and the boys were here. i cant do this without them all, especially niall. every second i was waiting for the nurse to come back, more worry was building up inside of me. what am i gonna say to niall? why cant things be simple...
"jessie? the doctor just needs to check something for a minute okay, then we need to run a few more tests." the nurse said walking back in.
"o okay" i said as the doctor started examining me
"right, im sorry to say this, but you've lost the baby. its stopped breathing and it just couldnt cope, i believe it suffered a heart condition. what we're gonna need to do is take you to surgery so we can operate and remove the baby that started to form. like a cersarian. are you okay with that?" the doctor said, i just froze, i lost the baby.
i burst into tears and couldnt believe my worst nightmare was happening. austin hugged me tight, i couldnt take it all in.
"i.. h how did this happen? c can we bury him or her or are they not devolped enough yet? and y y yeah im fine with that. i i need to t tell n niall" i said trying not to cry even more, this being the hardest moment of my life.
"i know this a lot to take in hun. and well your baby had a heart condition, from all the tests we ran, it showed he/she was very unwell and that may be a cause to your constant morning sickness. and well your baby is nearly 6 months so you should be able too bury him or her. im so sorry for your lose. we will take you to surgery soon?" the doctor said
"o okay." i stuttered.
an hour later i was taken into surgery while austin spoke to niall and the boys on the phone. surgery didnt take long and it broke my heart to see my lifeless baby being taken away from me. i was going to have a boy, a boy that me and niall always wanted. i burst into tears while in surgery, as your not under full sadation, only a little. i was aloud to name my baby boy so he had a name at least. i named him james, niall's middle name.
after surgery i was wheeled back to my bed so i could rest for a few hours before being discharged. austin was sitting by my side when i woke up after falling asleep from being exhausted.
"hey, how are you feeling?" austin said faintly smiling at me
"hey, im okay, just a bit devasted i lost my son. i called him james after niall's middle name. what did niall and the boys say when you spoke to them?" i said
"niall's pretty upset, he wouldnt stop crying and i think he dropped the phone when i told him. and he wouldnt say anything after so i spoke to louis aswell. they were all pretty devasted. i think all the boys were crying, because louis put it on speaker phone in the end." austin said with sadness in his eyes, "i think you should speak to niall in a few days hun, i know all the boys want to be back here, they tried to see if they could, but they cant, so im staying longer until your okay"
