Beating hearts

Chapter 7

Ara arrived home midafternoon after doing some errands in town, they weren't important or needed, they were just necessary to get her out of the silent and lonely house before she went crazy errands.

She thought of her life before, how blissful and content she always felt. At this time last year, she would have been waving Pompoms around in gym class, learning new cheer moves, preparing for the weekend game, and discussing what fun reckless high school stuff her and her friends could do after the last bell rang.

All 12 girls on the team Ara considered to be her dearest friends, that included her little sophomore sister as well, who annoyed and irritated her at times, but even then, was inseparable from her side.

It was dark and empty when she entered her new warm and cozy, but dingy home. Morgan was at work and Lilly was still at school. It seemed like no one was ever around, maybe it was just her wretched state, it was almost like she wanted people to distance themselves from her, she didn't care to have any friends or social life, penitence was all that was left. All she needed and wanted was to take care of her sister and be there for her no matter what she needed. She didn't care about herself, even though she was immensely lonely and moderately depressed, she was a lonesome soul, self-isolated from the world.

More of an effort was slowly starting to show, she did happily accept a date with Zac, whatever controlled her guilt and lead her to believe it was wrong to be happy and move forward, was somehow permissible on that occasion.

Ara lay on the brown leather couch in the living room and stared at the zigzag pattern on the ceiling. Hypnotized by the scheme of the motif, she drifted into her thoughts until she eventually went to sleep.

She woke up an hour later to the sound of someone knocking on the front door, she
yawned, wiped her eyes as she dragged herself to the door and opened it.

Her eyes widened.

"Dad...wh..what are you doing here?" She said to her father who was standing right in front of her and placed on the welcome mat.

"I just, I wanted to see how you and Lilly are,"

Ara stood between the half-closed door staring at her father addled. She was full of mixed emotions, she still had so much anger toward him, but she also wanted to just hug him and cry.

"Lillys not here, and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't want to see you...and neither do I,"
her voice cracked as she spoke her strenuous words.

Looking into his soft green eyes she couldn't help of think of the wonderful and fun-loving father he was. She couldn't help but think of when he would take her and Lilly to the park every Sunday after church for ice cream, or when he taught her how to drive, the first movie he took her to see, all those father-daughter dances. She couldn't help but think of how much she adored the dad he used to be.

"I know I've been a horrible father lately, and I'm sorry for the pain I've caused you and your sister, but I want to do better. I've been going to Alcoholic rehabilitation, it's made me realize, how important you and Lilly are...I just need my girls,"

Ara was trying so hard not to cry, her heart felt so heavy and weak.

"I want us to be a family again, like the way we were before," he continued.

Tears filled Ara's eyes as she struggled to get the words out.

"We can never be that family again, or a family at all, at least not with you."

Tears flooded her father's saddened face.

"Ara," he said holding his hand out to her.

She remained strong. It was clear why she had to shut him out of her life, but she was still irresolute, it didn't feel right. But what else could she do? She couldn't forgive him for what he had put her and Lilly through, the fear and guilt he made them feel, scared to come home to a drunk father, who harshly blamed them for the death of the woman they adored most. Taking his grief and anger out on his two daughters, just anguished children, wanting only love and comfort from the only parent they had left.
Even though he never physically hurt them, he would feel no remorse while dragging them to the closet, tossing them inside, and locking them shut. Keeping them frightened and full of guilt, until his drunk daze wore off, and he would unlock the door, staying gone for days, unable to face them. Ara always had to remain strong, and keep a smile on her face for Lilly, though all she wanted to do was run up to her dark room, bury her face in her pillow, and cry all the pain away.

"Goodbye dad." she closed the door. Turned and put her hand over her broken heart, and slid on the door to the ground. She wrapped her arms around her knees, put her head down, and sobbed. She let herself cry for a good 10 minutes when she realized that Lilly would be getting home from school any minute. She went upstairs to the bathroom to clean up and wipe her face off.
She didn't want Lilly to know what happened, it would only sadden her more or give her false hope that their father might change, and they would give him a second chance, only for him to return to his old ways and hurt them again. Neither one of them could take any more heartbreak.

She felt bad for not telling her sister, she had every right to know about her father, but she had to protect her, it was her job to keep her safe, she failed Lilly once before, she promised herself she would never do it again.

Lilly arrived home around 4:00, she entered the house glowing, a smile plastered on her face. Ara who is in the living room curing her boredom and wandering mind by cleaning random places in the house noticed how cheerful Lilly seemed, which
immediately put a smile on her face as well.

"What is that on your face, is that... is that a smile I see?" Ara joked.

"Maybe," Lilly replied walking to the couch and throwing her pink-flowered school bag on it.

"I talked to a boy today," she continued.

Ara plopped herself on the couch, tapping the crafted leather with her hand as a motion for Lilly to sit by her.

"Tell me,"

Lilly smiled and sat next to Ara. "His name is ben. He is in my history class. I didn't even know he knew I existed until today, he heard about the fire, he sat by me and we talked the whole hour,"
she paused.

"And?" Ara asked, she thought it was so cute that her little sister had a crush. She wanted to know all about it, every detail.

"He asked me out...but I don't know if I'm going to go,"

Ara looked at her confused, "why not?"

Lilly pressed her lips together. "I just, I'm afraid something bad will happen, pain and devastation seem to be our life here lately."

Ara put her hand on Lilly's knee, "You're the one always saying it's good to take a risk, and seize the day, right? You deserve to go out on a date, be normal for a couple of hours..we both do,"

Ara jumped up off the couch, "As a matter of fact, I was also asked out today," she spun and went off into the kitchen. Lilly groaned and followed her.

"Well..who asked you out?" Lilly said hopping up on the kitchen counter.

"Zack," Ara blushed while she opened the freezer, pulling out two blue popsicles and handing one to Lilly.

"The Zack who pulled our burning asses out of a fire, That Zac?"

"Yep,"

"Wow, your very own Prince charming," Lilly joked.

Simple Moments with her sister are what Ara enjoyed most, she adored spending time with her, and they have always been super close. People that didn't know them, thought them to be twins, of how much they looked alike, but also how they did absolutely everything together. Lilly is more than just her sister, she's her best friend.

"Are you going to go?" Lilly asked.

"Only if you go on your date with Ben. When is it?"

"Supposed to be on Friday,"

Ara smiled. "You are going."

"I guess," Lilly said Rolling her eyes.

Just then Morgan walked through the door carrying armloads of grocery sacks, with one dangling from her mouth.

"A little help," she said through gritted teeth.

The girls quickly jumped down and helped, both with a smile plastered on their faces. Which of lately, was very unusual.