Cielois One Shots// Discontinued

Letters To My Dearest

Ciel's POV:

I placed the piece of paper on my desk, shakily picked up the pencil beside my paper and began writing.

"Hey Alois, it's been awhile since I've talked to you and I just want to tell you that I miss you a lot. I miss everything about you. I miss your soft, delicate, hair it's lovely sunshine colour. How it would tickle me when we would kiss or cuddle and I missed when I was able to run my fingers through it. I miss your beautiful eyes, how they would look at me with admiration, love, happiness and delicacy, they use to make me feel loved. I miss how when I looked into your eyes they were like the ocean and the sky on a Summers day but at the same time they were more blue than any crystals or Diamonds I had ever seen. When you were sad your eyes would lose their spark but would become a deep, dark blue that was still as beautiful as always. I miss your lips, how could someone not miss your sweet, soft lips that were the prettiest shade of pink and how they would kiss me softly and passionately or when the moment was heated how they were lustful and sloppy but still, I loved every minute of it. I miss your voice how you would sing when your favourite song came on or when you were reading a book, how your voice would glaze over the words heavenly. I loved your voice even more when you  told me you loved me, that was my favourite part, being able to hear you say you love me. I missed the days when you and I would go to the bluebell field and watch the sunset, how the colours danced among the sky, pinks, purples, oranges many colours that reminded me of you. I miss the day, it was my sixteenth birthday and you gave me a promise ring, we promised each other that one day we would get married and I know- I know you never meant to break that promise because I know you Alois, you never break a promise. It was my fault you broke the promise and I'm sorry Alois, I'm so fucking sorry. I remember it like it was yesterday the day you broke the promise, the day I was an absolute idiot and Im so sorry Alois I'm sorry that it had to happen to you, it happened so suddenly too. We were walking home from a night out at dinner, it was late at night but we didn't care we had each other by our side. Since it was late at night and there was no traffic we decided to be childish, I was walking along the middle of the road as you ran from footpath to footpath. I remember myself  laughing at how adorably childish you were and I was so happy at that time before it all came crashing down, my life became a hurricane in less than a minute.

I was too idiotic to realise what was happening, I was walking along the middle of the road my laughter blocking out everything except you, screaming my name. Before I realised it a drunk driver came speeding down the road, I felt my breath hitch and I stood there frozen. Then I felt your hands, your delicate hands suddenly became so violent as you pushed me to the other side of the road. The sound of breaks squealing frightened me, I didn't want to know what happened, I didn't want to open my eyes, but I did. Then I heard it, the agonising scream, your scream it pierced my ears, taunting me, terrorising me and I did nothing. Without realising what I was doing I ran over to you hoping with everything in me that you were alive. My knees felt weak and they gave in, I fell to your side, I screamed your name, I continued to scream your name. I didn't care if I woke anyone or if my throat became sore. I kept screaming out your name. Eventually my throat became sore and my voice became hoarse but I didn't care, my sobbing blocked out everything around me, warm tears streaming down my face. I was terrified Alois. I kept telling myself that you would be okay, that you were fine but the truth is, you weren't. A passing person must've seen what was happening and notified an ambulance because then I heard the blaring of sirens but I didn't move, I wasn't leaving your side, I promised you I would never leave your side, never. Tears dripped off of my face onto your pale skin which once glowed with happiness. Wake up, please Alois, please wake up. Now you were being lifted onto a stretcher and into the ambulance, I demanded that I went with you and so I did. I sat there by your side, hoping that everything would be okay.

You wouldn't believe how long I waited in the waiting room, seconds felt like minutes, minutes felt like hours and hours felt like days. I sat there crying, Sobs escaping my lips, I sat there, in silence. I was mortified. My puffy, red eyes looked up to see a Doctor, his name tag read Dr.Michaelis he seemed troubled like he was nervous about  saying something and I felt a lump form in my throat. "Mr.Phantomhive," he spoke quietly "we are saddened to inform you that-" he stopped, he was hesitating. I didn't care anymore I let the warm tears cover my face as he continued "that Mr. Trancy, has passed away, we tried our very best, but he lost to much blood, we're very sorry for your loss"  that's when I knew my world had shattered, everything I once loved, gone. I never wanted to hear that sentence,

"Mr.Trancy has passed away."

I stood there, unable to process what had happened. Why had this happened  to him. It should've been me. I know you'd want me to move on, to find happiness after you left but I couldn't I love you Alois, I always will.

That was the day Alois, that was the day I lost you, I lost my smile, I lost my laugh, I lost my happiness, I lost my world. I will never break our promise. All I want you to know Alois is that;

I, Ciel Phantomhive
Will always love you,
Alois Trancy. "

——————————————