Starstruck Love

Mixed Signals

Seeing his name made me sick. But I answered anyways, which I wish I hadn't because the first words that came out of his mouth were,"I need to hear it from you....was that you!" As soon as I heard Colson's voice I started to cry. "Colson, please.....just hear me out." I said as I choked back some of the tears. "Just fuckin answer me...was it you?" I sat back down on the bed and let out some tears. "Yes....but pleas..." before I could continue he cut me off. "I knew it....God, I feel so stupid. I talked to my daughter about you. Telling her how special you were to me. That you were different from any other girl I met. But now I see you're not, you're just like all those fuckin whores that wait outside the shows just to get fucked." Colson sounded hurt and angry which only made me realize that he meant what he was saying. I was speechless, I couldn't believe he was saying this to me. He was hurting me and he knew it. After a few moments he continued,"You act all innocent but in reality you're just an attention whore. You probably already fucked him didn't you.....I mean I don't expect any less of you. Just....you know what delete my number and when you get here for the next show don't even think or bother to come up and talk to me. Stay the hell away from me, you disgusting bitch." I stayed silent and in shock. I was so messed up from everything he said that I started believeing what he told me. Maybe I was a whore cause I led him on and I went on dates with Gerald. But we were never official. I grabbed my head an started crying. All that over thinking was getting to me and I didn't know how to stop it. After a few seconds I told Jessica to leave, because I needed to be alone. I wanted to pretend that what was happening was just a nightmare. That it would blow over quick, but who was I to even know of that. I was just a regular girl who got sucked in into the showbiz lights and not for any good reason. I opened my eyes and looked at the black clock the hotel room had hanging on the wall. It read 3 o' clock in the afternoon. I couldn't believe I stayed in bed all those hours just thinking and crying. I got up from bed and decided to go out to the balcony for some fresh air. I put on the leather jacket Gerald gave me and slid the door open."THERE SHE IS!!" "TAKE PICTURES!" "WHAT IS SHE WEARING" "IS THAT A LEATHER JACKET?" "THEY SPENT THE NIGHT TOGETHER!" I immediatley regretted my decision and went back inside. Great, first Colson and now I had all these papparrazzis taking pictures of me to make up even more lies. I took of the jacket and threw it against the wall. I was so angry and so frusterated that I began to throw and break every object I could find. Eventually Jessica came in but I didn't see her and I threw a jar that missed her head by a few inches. "What the hell Guadalupe? Calm down!" She ran over to me and hugged me. "I can't do this....I'm not accustomed to this. I barely take pictures of myself and now wherever I go I just know that someone is going to take a picture and it makes me sick." I let go of her and fell to the ground on my knees. She bent down and rubbed my back. "Guadalupe.....just let it out....you know things will go back to normal once the tour is over. Don't worry." I looked at her and started crying again. "Don't worry?....How I'm I not suppouse to worry knowing that Colson thinks I'm a whore. You know what he's right I'm a whore that doesn't know what she wants." Jessica got up and then helped me up. "Stop it this instant Guadalupe. You are not a whore and you will never be one. Now stop crying for what that dick said and get dressed we are leaving this damn hotel." she said as she got out the room. She didn't get it the last thing I wanted was to leave the hotel. I didn't want people following me, trying to find dirt on me so they could give me a bad reputation. I got back in bed and shut my eyes. Trying to shut out the entire world. Around two hours later I heard the doorknob turning. "I'm sorry Jessica but I'm not leaving." "Well I guess Jessica beat me to it," I quickly sat up and saw my dad. "Dad I'm sorry......I didn't want none of this to happen." He went over to me and sat next to me in the bed. He pulled me in into a hug and rested his head on mine. "Sweaty....calm down it was an innoccent kiss. I get it I was young once before," he said chuckling. I looked at him and gave him a confused expression. "Why that look.....ohh I know you thought I was going to go all monster on you. No mija.....fact is I was furious I really was. But then I got here and Jessica told me about the whole balcony scene and I realized you need me now more than ever. I know you might not feel comfortable talking to me because I'm your dad...maybe if I was your mother," As soon as he mentioned my mother I got up. "Can we please not talk about her." I said as I paced back and forth. " We evetually have to." "But not today dad not today." He got up and walked over to me giving me a hug. "One last thing Guadalupe," he said as he headed to the door. "Right after the Cleveland show you're going back home." After that he walked out,closing the door behind him and leaving me in the middle of the room crying once again. Maybe it was for the best I didn't need all of this right now, or ever. Suddenly I heard a knock on my door. I didn't even bother getting up or asking who it was I stayed in the bed. After a few seconds passed the door finally opened. When I saw his face I got up and ran to him and started hitting him as hard as I could. "Guadalupe calm down......I SAID CALM DOWN!" He grabbed my hands and then let them go so he could pull me into a hug. "I'm sorry.....I really am if I had known all this shit would start I wouldn't have even asked you out." Gerald said letting go of me. I walked away from him and walked back to the bed. He was making his way over to me when he noticed the jacket on the floor. He went over and picked it up and laid it on the bed. Then he went and sat next to me. "I know you've been crying you can stop faking like you're okay.....one question though does all this really bother you that much?" Gerald asked as he hugged me. How could I be honest with him and say no none of this bothers me the only thing that bothers me is my heart because of what Colson said to me. I looked at him and shook my head. "No not really.....it's just something new for me and I'm not used to it." He let out a small chuckle and turned to me. "Guadalupe bullshit aside I like you....and I was thinking of, you know......if we could make this official?" he asked with a hint of worry in his voice. I slowly shook my head and he let out a sigh. "Why not? I thought you said that you wanted to be seen with me and go to places with me and now you say no." I looked at him and let out some tears. "It wouldn't be right of me to start a relationship when I'm leaving....," he looked at me and smiled. "You're fucking with me right? We still have like two whole fuckin months ahead maybe even more." "You might have them but I don't......I'm going home right after the next show." I said looking down at the ground. Gerald got up and walked over to the wall. He let out a heavy breath and punched the wall. After he punched the wall a few times he went back over to me. "Get dressed and put on the jacket." "No....I don't wan...." "Guadalupe don't argue with me right now....get dressed and put on the jacket." He got up and walked over to the door. I quickly got dressed and put on the jacket that he gave me. I finally walked out of the room and saw Jessica checking out the windows. I looked around for Gerald but couldn't find him until I felt an arm around my shoulder. "Ready my aztec queen?" "What are you going to do?" I asked as we walked out the room and headed over to the elevators. We got on the elevators and he quickly conored me into a wall."Okay....I know you're leaving the tour but.....you can't leave me. Guadalupe you changed me without knowing. I want you to be that special person in my life. I want to be with you......I want to take you on dates. I want to have pointless arguments that we can settle by laughing at our own stupidities. We need to make it official. For your sake and for my peace....", he said with a slight smile. I don't know if it was because I was hurting from what Colson said earlier that made me act with impulse or the fact that I felt something for Gerald. He gave me butterflies in my stomach every time we talked or hanged out. So without hesitation I leaned in and he grabbed my cheeks pulling me in into a sweet escape, the tenderness of his lips. We finally got out the elevator and walked straight for the front door of the hotel. He grabbed my hand and we made our way through the papparrazzi."Over here over here" "Did you spend the night together" "Is she your new toy" "Is she even legal" "Gerald is it true she's just another fling?" Gerald and I stopped and he looked at all of them. "Listen guys....I know it's your job to ask a whole bunch of questions but for now I'm just going to talk so listen up," Gerald said pausing and smiling over at me. "Yes, the rumors are true......I'm a sexy muthafucker." I looked at him and rolled my eyes. "No but uhmm.....this beautiful lady next to me is my Aztec Queen. Her name is Guadalupe and yes we are in fact dating. We are both very happy at the moment and yes she's the same girl from the park. I wanted to have a nice date but it seems to me that you guys are everywhere," he said earning a small roar of laughter. "Anyways that is it for today and you guys can go home......WAIT....I'll give you guys an exclusive." Gerald said as he hugged me and the people immediately started taking pictures. Then he kissed me and the flashing of the cameras went crazy. After that we simply walked away and headed to his car, so we could go and meet everyone else where the tour buses were. The ride there was actaully pretty enjoyable. I had managed to forget everthing Colson had said and I started to enjoy the moment I was in. I got on Gerald's bus and I figured out Jessica had gotten on Colson's bus. After that we finally made our way to Cleveland. The next morning we arrived to Cleveland and I got out of Gerald's bus as quick as I could and ran over to Jessica who was sitting on the pavement. "What's wrong Jess?" I asked sitting next to her. "Rook's bitchass wasn't on the bus and now everyone is looking for him." she said as she ran a hand through her hair. "Guadalupe haven't you noticed every bad thing that has happend to them is because of us?" She asked as she got up. I looked to see why she stood up and it was like someone was punching and kicking my heart. It was Colson, he walked over to us. But he ignored me and went straight to Jessica. "Did you call him?" she asked nervously. "Yeah turns out he needed a break of the tour and he went to California. I mean who doesn't this tour is filled with more whores than we can handle." Colson said staring at me. "Hey, don't be such a piece of shit. I know your mad and what not but don't take it out on her." Jessica stated as she started to walk away. "Well no wonder you're defending her.....you're a slut just like her. Jessica was about to turn around and smack him but I grabbed her arm. "He's not worth it Jessica." I said as we walked away. We stayed the whole day inside the venue walking up and down until it was almost showtime. "Why the fuck is the drummer not here yet?" Colson was screaming to his whole group. "We go on in 3 fuckin minutes." "I can do it." Jessica said nervously. Everyone looked at her and Colson finally spoke up. "No thank you we don't want any whores." "Well I'm the best you're going to get in the time you have....it's either you play with me as a your drummer or you don't play at all." "Fuck it" Colson finally agreed and they went to get ready up on the stage. I went to the side of the stage and looked at my friend rock out. Colson started singing Her Song and he went over to me and dragged me out into stage. I wanted to leave but he kept grabbing my arm. He started singing closer and closer to my face until he moved the microphone and kissed me. Now I really wanted to go back home.