Love and war

aftermath

I kept rereading the letter and the school library, I said I was going to wait for my fingers kept playing with it until it ripped it open my heart broke. The wheel in my head turning the never been good at receiving bad news but never been good at being lied to either. I couldn't find the words, probably because of her buried between my broken relationship that was completely over if it wasn't already. I got my backpack and my books and basically been to the lunch room scanning, the whole room for Maya. It was like I can control my feelings so I shut them off as I walked over to her trying to cry. " you're a bad friend! You said you didn't want to keep secrets from me you're supposed be my sister you lied to me! You didn't want to be with him you said you had your feeling figured out, but what do I know I'm ditz best friend!" I hissed and her eyes widen, and they look almost grayish than the usual blues eye. " can talk about this outside of school please, bay window " I look at her, for second I thought anger hurt I felt betrayed I felt lost I didn't know those eyes look " I won't be there! I don't know you honesty, I don't want to know you I thought I knew you until now though I knew you, wanted to believe that you never hurt you lied to me and this time I don't think I can forgive you this time sorry." I said as lucas walk up me, and I give him. " she loves you, she love you I love you and I've loved you since the moment I met you-" I cried everyone's looking at me but I didn't matter at this moment is just me and Lucas. " you don't love me! Finally it clicked in my head you don't love me. Baby don't forget that I was the one who made you the way where they, " I turn back to Maya, I just laughed. " he wouldn't be the guy you're in love with wasn't for me, still be a pretty boy with no fucking substance! Your pig dirty nasty kind of pig don't give a damn about any of their self your dog." I got so confused with the tears and crying and hurt feelings but I didn't care who I was talking to anyway I was just want to feel what I felt. " you should get a kick out of this Maya he doesn't love anyone and if he did damn sure wouldn't be you, he love using people you love hurting me!" I'm really figure out why I was crying I thought I was sad but I wasn't I was angry filled with hatred in my heart and it never seemed to sit well with me I'm supposed to be Riley the happy one forget it. I was starting to walk away but he grabbed my hand." You know I love you" I started him for a second looking into those green eyes I thought I loved and just laugh " well that the love have give, I don't want it I don't want you I don't want her I want you both to stay the hell away from me you can keep that sorry excuse for love. I said as I slap him and throw my friendship ring at Maya.