Love and war

Forgiving

Riley p.o.v
"Where are we going?" I asked as he lead me through the crowd subways, I don't know how I let him talk me into skipping school. " I'm going to see my birth mother" he said as if it was nothing, but I just choose my battles so  not push the subject. When finally our way through crowd of people and onto subway car, it like my life flashed before my eyes but the moment consist of Lucas. Remember what I need him for what he was to me and I broke down and cried. How selfish of me to thinking about myself and he was going through something way bigger than me but he squeeze my hand anyways and lead me in the back the subway. " I'm sorry look me i'm fragile as a piece of paper, i'm supposed to be the support I'm terrible support system." I said as lean his head against mine, as he smiles at me. " it alright to cry " he whisper as he kiss my forehead, i smile at him as he wipe my eye. " riley I know that not ready move on yet but I just wanna know that I'm option when the time come." He said to me and I just laid my head on his shoulder without say word.
Zay p.o.v
I can tell she's pretending to be asleep, The way she closed her eyes tightly, The constant fight to keep them shut. I think she got so good at pretending, I got good at pretending not to notice I think the reason why I gravitated towards Lucas and Maya, Because I wanna my shot, with a pretty brunette cares about everyone and No sacrifice is too big for her friends. I think I was never in love with her beating but more with her personality. She Phoenix in the water, a fish learn how to fly. She learned early on that she like causing the chaos other instead laying at the sharp in the knife A reality. I watched her as she slept and I became easy for her to drift off to dreamland is her eyes softened and lights snoring escapes her mouth. She was tired physically emotionally drained of the past few months. I thought the subway Never end as we got off in Manhattan. We had walked in silence, I kept steal glancing at her, she bout to head to the music in the ear phones in her ear, I want to say something but I'll seem to get completely dry, I was completely lost supposed to be the biggest late day of my life. Out  nowhere she grabbed my hand and squeezed it, I wondered how she did that, that ability to read people without even looking at them to know what they need at that moment she was like a superhero saving people. " don't be scared, if anyone should be scared it should be her she walked out on him she left your father and you without a word she should be sorry not you." She said catching me off guard, and I was like there was a halo over her head, " why was not good enough, I must've been really screwed up if my mother walked away I thought mother supposed to be the loving ones you know there's supposed to protect the babies!" I broke down and the tears run down my eyes, and we stopped people moved around us and life went on around us but my life is falling apart why did she  choose not to come back into my life. "Do you remember lesson my father taught us, about forgiveness?" She asked me and I faintly remember the lesson but mostly getting irritated with farkle but I still nod my head. "well the truth is that forgiveness is really tough, sometimes you just need to hear that person out forgive yourself the matter what you need to behave yourself and if it takes you visiting her and do it I'm right here. " she said to me she looked up at me with those brown eyes in that moment I realize why Lucas fell in love with her. She is light that light shine through no matter what goes on she was the sun to moon she was perfect. " but if I don't get the right answers? what if I don't like the answer she give me? I Want to forgive her because it made be better. " I want to clarity I wanted to feel whole again I want to fill the missing spot she left Riley just called me up to steps without another word. She knocked on the door and taking charge like usual as the door opened up in a little girl was standing there with eyes just like mine " hey little girl is your mother" Riley kneel down to get to her level, she smile sweetly my mother came downstairs, look at me as if it was a ghost, she started to cry, which caused me to cry. "Zay!" She said she had me like nothing was wrong she didn't walk away 13 years ago but I didn't matter.

a/n so I'm going to leave it there because I want to give the conversation with mother a whole chapter but another news could you read my new story called the evolution of Maya heart