Love and war

Rooftop view

Riley p.o.v
I sat on the rooftop of the school, Flashback from the first time I came up here. The black-and-white gala for the freshman class, Lucas and I snuck away up.
Flashback 2 year ago
"Where we going?" I said as we raced to the halls John Adams high school, Friend have grown over the last three years and we became more inseparable we talked about everything he knew all my fears and just as well as I know his. We finally made it up to the highest point of the school, it was silent forgetting about the party downstairs in the gymnasium, it was just us. " riley Matthews, I fell off of Judy the sheep I regretted not going back up there, running away from that day somewhere another I thought when I rode tombstone the bull,I thought I was on top of the world I thought that the sheep was going defining for the rest of my life that moment today I think I'm I have to face the sheep you are gentle and your kind but I know the darkness behind your eye. You scared the hell out of me when I first met, I want you to change me selfish asking too much out of you because I knew you were struggling on your own but I want you to be the sunshine of my life make me feel like I can be your hero." He kept rambling, I grab his cheek stared into the emerald green eyes seem like forever but probably only two seconds is a kiss for me. " do you really think of me as a sheep? " I said as I pulled away from the kiss and he bit his lip the way it always made me feel warm inside. " I never told you this but when we were in Texas i almost kiss Maya, but I realize before it went too far that I didn't want my moment with Maya! I want to my princess dancing sunshine I want to girl who believed in everything and everyone the girls front of clowns well the girl who dances her own beat, I want you." The tears roll down his cheek, I tell myself that was the one I was going to remember for the rest of my life because of his with him. " I want you to?" I whisper in ear as he smash his lips against mine is again. " so what are we are we boyfriend and girlfriend? " he asked me before laughing and I bit my lip. " you know those words are so scary to me" I said is I pulled myself out of his arms and set by the air-conditioner. " What are you afraid of?" His words came out harsh but I look down at the ground but it him play with my him in my lap and looking up at the sunset lit up the sky. " I just called Freeze time please I don't want to talk, I don't want this moment!" I said as I pull my knees up to my chest, before wiping away the tears. I hate it when Lucas stare at me, he never took his eyes off me. " Why do you do that? " I asked he looked at me confused, the first time saw look after I told him I thought of him as a brother, " why do you look at me like that?" I asked and he finally come sat down next to me, push my hair out my face. " because you're a sun to my moon, you're butter to my jelly. I look at you and I know how special you are" he said to me, and I start to cry. " i want to keep you around as long as I can, so that mean we can't be together not now at least." I said as I kissed one last time.
End flashback
I got the flask out of my back pocket, before and twisting the top, and Drowning whatever left. " hey sugar, I thought I find your here." I turn around see zay. " I was starting to worry you didn't like her little game." I smirk and he just look down at ground. " I think I like to just a little too much and it makes me feel guilty, how do you do these things? Lucas can do these things without any emotions you can sleep with other people but still love each other how do you do it?" He asked me and and there wasn't any answer I was a commitment phobia him he had fun using people. " I don't commit to people I don't love the person i fell in love with the concept of love and Lucas needs me I'm a sunshine I'm what makes him go sometimes love to be sicking and poisoning two people,  in our case we feed off each other he hurt me I hurt him every ending cycle but someone has to break it." I told him before turning back to the view, " do you want a little piece of advice don't regret anything because of the time you want to do it were in high school, we hook up that's it nothing serious and future we're going to want to get married but I don't think you need to when you're not going to Met that person in high school it doesn't happen that way only the lucky one I'm not lucky and if any of going to make it will Farkle and Isadora." I said as I pull a cigarette out of my back pocket, and I can hear rocks wrestling under his feet as he walked closer to me. " if I remember correctly you seduced me. " he argues and I just laugh. " come on Zay I don't have to work that hard! Hey but it was good sex and I had fun you had fun so I regret it." I said as I kiss him for myself realizing what I liked about zay you can never hurt me. " don't you think we should go on a date I feel wrong because I didn't buy you dinner first. " he whisper and I rolled my eye. " no you don't have to buy me dinner, with friends really good friends who occasionally fuck can you just leave it at that. " I said as he nod his head. " I don't feel right touching you not buying you dinner you to beautiful you're like a fine glass of wine and I just want to make sure you treated right!" He said to me and I rolled my eye. " you think too much? Don't be a good guy and I need a good guy I'm the guy who understands that I want to forget about my ex-boyfriend and I need him to want to have my blowing sex with me and you can give me that can you just give me that!" I said as kiss his neck, he pull away. " Riley I think I have to think about that I have to go." He said before leave me there speechless.
I'm sorry my phones going dead so I'm just going to leave it right here in the next chapter is going to be full with Lucaya  so enjoy the chapter