CANDI'S CONFESSIONS

Present Day

November 2nd, 2015 9:24 am

have you ever just looked outside and realized how sad the world looks. how the rain just makes everything look as if it were crying? or how the trees bend at an angle that makes them look as if they ere bent and strangled now they are crying. ironically that's what you are doing.    but you're not crying because you're sad you're crying because the world is. that's when you realize how cold you really are. and it hurts because the moment someone asks you why you are  crying you just can't say  I'm crying because the world is then you'd really seem like a freak.                                   

but, whose to say we aren't all freaks in our own little way. some people like to sing to themselves, but then when you see someone whisper to themselves then that means that that person is crazy or needs help. sometimes you just sit down and think. you think about what will happen tomorrow or what has happened today. yesterday I was painting. painting a picture someone asked me to draw then paint for them.

you see I don't feel objective to paint for people or draw for them. but, for some reason this lady thought I was good at what I did. I have to say that that shocked me. it shocked me even more when she said that she would pay me 60 dollars if I were to paint six pieces of art for her. you see the reason I was so shocked was because all my life when I would draw or paint something I'd always have this one person to ask.  why is this like this? or why didn't you do this? then I'd always have my sister come up to me and say  that what I had drawn was so got damn ugly and it was a piece of shit.

but you see yesterday my dad came into my room and said that he liked what I was painting. that it was good and he asked me how I did it? then he smiled at me and said that what I had was a talent. when someone says that they like something that you've done it gives you this little speck of pride. little speck of hope that you might be able to do something worth wild with you're life.

but, also when he said that it made me think what is good to one person something might be good but to another it might look bad. that day I was told by several different people that they liked my painting. but I also remember sitting in the car waiting for my mom to come out of a store. my father told me that he hadn't forgot.

to everyone else in the car they hadn't the slightest idea to what he was talking about. but I knew what he meant. he was talking bout my birthday on Tuesday November 3rd. and all it took were those words to make me cry.