CANDI'S CONFESSIONS

Charlie

after he said that i felt horribly bad because i knew that if he were to drink bleach that he could in fact die. but, everyone in the group chat wasn't phased. they said simply that it wasn't the first time that he had said that he would drink bleach or kill himself. but i still left the group chat i private messaged him and asked him if he was okay. when i sent it saw an S not a D. that had to be one of the most painful experiences i have ever felt.

but i moment latter when i looked back i saw R and he started to type back. i remember what he said he said no that he wasn't how he had only tried to do the best for ash and how he tried to make her stop cutting. then i said maybe it was both of you guys fault just a little bit and how you cant force change. then i remember how i practically got cursed out by him saying that he didn't know me and all this to the stuff in the group chat before he left and how i though that maybe i should try and be on his side and not make him upset. 

so that's what i did i made him feel like it wasn't his fault like he did the right thing when really i didn't know who was right or who was wrong. when i was done talking to him he seemed okay but truth be told i hardly knew what okay was for him. i felt like i had done my best because i had really tried to help him. when i was done i sat down in a corner and thought to myself about what had happened and how i could fix what had happened. 

that's when nanny texted me asking me if i was okay. i said yes just because i dint feel like explaining what had happened. we joked around saying everything but the right thing until it was late at night. the last thing he said was something about an overdose. but i knew he was joking. so i joked back saying that i would too.  i woke up at three in the morning getting spammed with texts so i turned off my phone.

 that was one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made.