Finding Hope (Lesbian Story) Two

Self-Contained

For the longest I felt like everything just dropped from my grip. Like I had no control over it, my mind was blank yet full of things that just seems to haunt me.

Laying here in my bed I decided to call off from work because I just couldn't focus and I wasn't about to go to work giving people the wrong amount of change and organizing incorrectly. So calling off was the best thing I could do.

I even saw myself calling up Nene, but then I started to over think. What if her best-friend pick up. What if she moved on and decided to fuck with someone else and they just blow up on me. My mind is so gone I couldn't even pick a pencil to write. I just threw on my smooth music starting with 'Tyrone' by Erykah Badu.

Rolling over in bed I heard a knock at the door and Mecca comes in closing the door behind her. "Hey bum." she sat on my butt and played with my plaited twist. "What's wrong? Why you called off?" I snuggled with my pillow and just kept to myself. Something I tend to do just about everyday, people never knew I did it 'cause I'm not always 'Visible' to people. I like to stay quiet for a part of my day and just sit back and watch.

School has been stressful, but luckily I've got majority of it done due to my reclusive actions. Not only have I been stress the past week but I've also feel sad I guess. Because I had a dream with Nene and the strangest yet most amazing thing it was like we were a family. Nice place, happy, and even kids.

"What you thinkin' about Jai?" I sighed as she laid next to me looking at my face. "Remember that dream I told you about?"she nodded her head. I told her of part of the dream, well basically just being with Nene and not the rest. "Well, it was just the fact that I was with Nene. We was laying in a master bedroom just chillin' and talkin'. The room was beautiful a little plain like it was new though, just the bed and television set. Anyways, I started to tickling her and we was laughing and smiling while she rocked in my arms trying to get away, but I wouldn't let her because I swea' it was a beautiful moment but then. ." I closed my eyes and smiled weakly to image I seen from my dreams.

"Then the bedroom door came bursting open and two little kids came in running with smiles on there faces about the same skin tone as Nene, but then this one little on came in right after. I- I just knew that was me. That little boy had my looks but Nene's eyes. They came and jumped on us, but lil' man just yelled 'wait I can't get up there!' I picked him up telling him ' never say you can't, you can do anything if you put your mind to it' he just looked at me with those eyes Mecca like the way Nene looks at me and hugged me."

I opened my eyes with tears seeping out, I couldn't hold it in. All the times I think about that dream I start to cry. I want it so bad but that is long gone.

Mecca View

I feel so bad for not telling her. After that Nene and Jai break up I kept in touch because I love Nene. I thought wrong of her and I can understand why she was protective of Jai, they belong together.

I just sat up and called Khalil , he always knows how to make Jai smile and laugh. I mean I cam but not like Khalil. To be honest I think they would of been a great coupld if they was just more upfront with there emotions, before Nene became the real focal point.
I kissed Jai on the cheek after wiping her tears , getting up leaving out her room going into the living room.

Once he answer I heard him yawn, " Khalil?" I heard shifting and then he begin to clear his throat. Damn this nigga do a whole lot to wake up. "yea, what's up?" he finally said. "Can you come here , Jai is getting lower and lower and I hate seeing her like this." he sighed and whispered something. I scrunched up my face wondering who he talking to. "what?" " nothing I was talking to Heaven, I'l be there in a minute Mecca." I nodded my head as if he could see me, "yea alright."