Dan and Phil at Hogwarts (A Dan and Phil AU)

"Shopping"

Phil

          "Are  you sure you're okay, Dan?" I asked my companion as he lied on the floor with a blank expression. "Yes, I'm perfectly fine, Phil. The only thing that's been hurt is my self esteem and dignity." I held out a hand and helped him rise to his feet. "Who am I kidding, I lost all my dignity years ago." Dan added. "I did tell you we needed to move that lamp cord before someone, well, you, tripped over it." "Okay, Phil. I officially give you permission to move the lamp." I chuckled and unplugged the Labrador lamp that stood on the table, moving it nearer to the breakfast bar where the cord was out of Dan's way. "Should I start vlogging again or wait until we're outside?" "Nah, they know we're antisocial nerds that just spent the last two hours eating and watching anime-no need to hide that fact." He replied. I grabbed the vlogging camera and started recording. "Two hours later: yes, we're still home. But don't worry guys, we're just cleaning up after lunch-" "Literally throwing away 2 empty cartons." Dan interrupted. "That's still technically clean up! But anyway, we're now going to go down to the shopping center to get some new coats and things before we call it a day. Dan's got the shopping list that came with the letter, and some of these things we can get before our adventure into Diagon Alley!" "Shall I wear the black coat or the blacker coat?" Dan asked from his room. "Blacker coat sounds good!" I called back, then took the camera into the hallway as he was exiting his room with his winter coat in hand. "I still don't understand why you won't get a coat rack, Dan." "Reasons, Phil. Reasons." "It's because of Silent Hill, isn't it?" "Maybe. Give me the camera and go get yours on, then. I want to beat the rain." I handed the camera to him and grabbed my coat from the closet. I left Winston a little dish of crushed up biscuits- I would have to remember to buy some owl treats while we were out- and picked Susan up in her little cage. Dan gave me a look as soon as I walked out of the room. "Phil, we cannot bring the Pygmy Puff into the middle of London." "I'm afraid she'll get lonely, she's so much smaller than Winston!" "You don't think that'll draw attention to ourselves?" "This vlog is going to be all over the internet, Dan. Everyone knows wizards exist. I don't think anyone would be too shocked, if they even noticed her." Dan faltered a bit. "True. Fine, you can bring her. At least wrap her cage in a scarf or something. I don't think your research included how to cure Pygmy Puff frostbite." "It's not that cold outside. It's still summer." "She weighs as much as your finger, Phil, I think she can get cold pretty easily!" I heeded his advice and wrapped a festive scarf around her cage, and I'm sure I heard her squeal a bit at the sudden dimness. "Into the storm we go." Dan said as he opened the door. "That's a bit dramatic, Dan. It isn't even raining yet." "What can I say Phil, I'm an actor. I concentrate my feelings-" "I've heard the speech before." "Have you? Oh that's right. Never mind then, off we go!
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-            I was right in the fact that no one noticed Susan. She was kept warm and snuggly in my right pocket huddled in her scarf. Dan turned the camera on and pointed it at me, taking a moment to turn around and show the Internet our surroundings. "Where to first Phil?" "I thought we could go to Kings Road, pick up a few of the household items we need, and then theres the H&M they remodeled in Kensington that we should probably check out." "Good idea, and while were there, we can head on to Ryman's and get some parchment and things." Dan suggested. "For those of you who don't know, Ryman's is an office suppply store in Kensington; just to keep you in the loop." He continued. After a short ride on the metro (and Dan having to stand the whole way because he prefered that rather than sitting on the mysteriously damp remaining seat) we arrived at Kings Road and walked out onto the slightly slippery pavement. Our first stop was Bluebird Shop, a florist that sold beautiful miniature plants as well. I had hoped to slip in without Dan noticing (I don't know how I expected myself to manage that) but he was on to me as soon as I approached the door. "Phil...you did not." "What?" I asked, trying to sound innocent. "Phil we are not buying another houseplant! One more and the flat will look like something out of Avatar, we are not going in there!" "But we need one that we can take with us to Hogwarts...to brighten up the common room! All the ones back home are huge." Dan groaned and took a deep breath. "This guy... my god. Okay, fine. Fine! One tiny miniscule potted plant- and that is it. Got it?" I nodded and opened the door. Dan pulled out his phone- he always hated when I interacted with the shop lady because it forced him to be socially interactive as well- and began to tweet something. I learned later that it was "Phil is currently purchasing another houseplant to take to Hogwarts... I'm seriously considering getting him into houseplant rehab." I found a nice cute little Bonsai type tree, and the shop-lady named Janey wrapped the bottom with a nice little bow. As we walked outside, it began to drizzle, and Dan said, "With the amount of stuff you buy in there, they should give you a 'buy 10 get 1 free' punchcard." When it started to rain, we took shelter at the nearest bus stop. We waited for it to lighten up (fat chance of that happening, it is London after all) and I checked my Twitter for questions people had sent in for our next Q and A video. I indulged Dan in a few of these questions I thought were somewhat philosiphical (or just interesting). "Dan, this one's for you. 'If your girlfriend asked you to go to the store to pick up tampons/pads for her, would you do it? Would you be embarressed?' It is a rather good question." I decided to record Dan's answer. "A girl's period is a natural process- it's not something to be ashamed of. Without it, life would never continue on. So of course I would do it, and definitely make sure to get the right ones she needs. I don't think it's embarrassing to be catering to the basic needs of a human being." "Well said. Here's another one. 'If your apartment burned down, what would you go back in to save?' That's a hard one. I think maybe the memory box I have under my bed...the ones with the original footage of childhood stuff and pictures... what about you, Dan?" He answered without hesitation. "My phone." "Dan, you wouldn't. Plus you always have your phone in your pocket so it wouldnt just be lying around somewhere." He pondered this. "True. I dunno then...maybe the hardrive we have Dil on? After all we don't want to lose him, do we?" "Good point, I don't know why I didn't think of that." "Ah, you were being too sentimental, Phillip. We peasants cannot risk such frivolities." "Ha ha, very funny." The rain slowed to a gently drizzle after a bit, and we passed the time playing the 7 second challenge, Hogwarts edition. "Shall we get to our parchment buying adventure now, Phil?" "Yes, yes we should.