"You look pale, you should go outside for a bit" she says, opening my curtains. "It's such a nice day."
"No it isn't" I reply, rolling over on my bed to look at her. My mother sighed, pushing her hair behind her ears. "I think some fresh air might be good for you, Kay." She said. "Go out and see if Sam's around."
It's my turn to sigh. "Sam doesn't like me." I say.
"Well of course she does. You two should get together more often. Plan a sleepover or something."
I sigh again. It's so hard to explain to my mom how different me and Sam are, how even though she never says it, I can tell that I annoy her. But some things are just easier than arguing. I'm also getting kind of uncomfortable here with my mom. We don't talk a lot. She always wanted a daughter to go to the mall with, and to talk about boys with, and stuff like that I suppose. In case you haven't guessed, I'm not her.
I slide off my bed. "I'll see if she wants to go to the park or something." I say reluctantly. My mom smiled brightly. "Sounds fun! Don't be home too late, so maybe we can watch movies , and play a board game or paint each other's nails. It'll be fun." I don't answer, but leave the room and walk outside.
It's getting colder, and I'm not exactly dressed for the cold. I'm wearing and old sweater, pajama shorts, and my flip flops, but i don't go back to change. I walk next door to Sam's house and ring the door bell. I keep ringing until she answers.
Sam's 6 years older than me, only 19, but if you met her, you'd say she's at least 30. She's tall, she must be nearing 6 feet. She wears her hair in 2 long, dark braids, which she'll pin up occasionally if it's especially windy. Right now she's wearing a pink sweater over a denim jumper, and little white sneakers on her feet.
She doesn't smile at me, though I don't think her mouth even opens wide enough to smile. She does nod, and says "why hello Katherine, what do I owe this visit?"
"I think I like Kay better. Though I also think I've told you that" I reply. She purses her lips.
"Would you like to come in?" She asks me, moving to show me the hallway. "No." I say, turning my head to look back at my house.
She clears her throat. "Well, do you need anything?" She asks. "No." I say. "Oh." She says.
We are silent for a moment. Then I say "my mother says we should spend more time together."
"Oh. Well, would you like to do something?" She asks me after a moment. "No" I say, but then I add
"We should walk to the park."
"Oh. Alright" Sam says, stepping outside.
The park is 2 blocks away. I don't say anything, I'm watching a cloud formation that looks like a monkey when she clears her throat again. "How do you like school?" She asks.
"I don't" I answer after a moment. "Oh." She says. "I can help you if you're having trouble" she says. "No" I say, deciding that the monkey looks more like a clown.
We are at the park, and we walk over to a bench to sit. I'm just sitting there, thinking about how I wish I was anywhere but here, when I notice that someone is watching me.
It's a young woman, she looks to be about 30 or so. She has a baby in her arms and a cigarette in her mouth. Her hair is thin and graying, despite her age. She's looking at me very intently, like she's trying to read my mind.
I glance over at Sam, she's blabbering away about how I should be dressed warmer. I don't think that she's noticed.
I look down, this woman looking at me is making me uncomfortable. When I look up again however, she's moved closer to me.
From here I can tell that she's homeless. Her shoes are old, her clothes are torn, her face is thin and pale, most likely due to an overdose of medical marijuana.
Soon she's standing right in front of us, her baby on her hip. Noticing her, Sam said "we don't have any money." She stood as if to move away.
The woman didn't even look at her. Her attention was focused on me.
"It's impolite to stare." I say. She doesn't drop her gaze.
"If you want your dollar back, show up at the five and dime tomorrow at 3:00." She finally said, in a voice that sounded as though she were singing.
She walked away after that.
Sam said nothing for a moment. Then a rush of words spilled out "Katherine, who was that?how do you know her?what does she mean 'dollar'?-" and of course "please tell me your not going there tomorrow!"
I ignore her and start running home. "Katherine!" I hear her calling after me, but of course I don't go back.
I get home in about 2 minutes. "Oh hi!" My mom says brightly. "I didn't expect you back so soon! Where's Sam?"
I don't answer, but instead run straight to my room. I flop down on my bed. Looking up at the ceiling, I hear a knock at the door. I hear Sam's voice. The door closes again and there is silence in the house.
My mother appears at my doorway, the hallway is dark and so is my room, so the only light is coming through a slit in my curtains.
"Sometimes I just don't understand you." She says. "I really don't."
And then she's gone, and it's just me and the darkness.
YOU ARE READING
My side
RandomBernie, never without his Yankees cap. Bernie, laughing like he'd never laugh again. He smells like cigarettes and pot and music. Bernie, opening me up to the world when I thought the doors where sealed forever. Bernie. 1988, Bronx New York She's 1...