what do you want from me?

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We joke around a lot about me killing myself. But do you really know what I'm talking about. Do you really think I'm just joking about it. You say don't die but do you really care. What if I did it for real? I see the look in your eyes sometimes am I imagining it or is it true? Its like you are laughing at me daring me to do it like you know what I'm talking about but just don't care enough to support me or at least tell me you know. Are you really my friend? Cause I really don't know anymore. The stuff I'm going through, I don't deserve this or at least two days ago I believed this. Now I don't know. Maybe it should do it, no one really cares its all just a act actually as far as I know life is just a act. What's truth or what's lies you pick cause I'm sick of being the one to decide. I'm just over it.

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