Life

Part 10

I don't know what to do. See even if he did ask me out, and I know he wouldn't, I'd probably say no. I think it's because my last relationship ended so badly. If you don't know what I'm talking about when I say badly then I'll tell you.

We went out for a whole year and we were going wonderfully. Then he had to move at the end of the year and that's where it all went downhill. See when he moved he also had to move schools. And so he thought because I didn't go there it would be fine to cheat on me. He cheated on me with this girl he hardly knew at all.

I later found out when he accidentally admitted it to me. It had been going on for a month before I found out and also had started only a few days after Christmas. I mean how bullshit is that. I'm not a Barbie or slut or clinger or anything and I'm proud of that but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt to know what he had been doing behind my back for a whole month and a half. I never thought he would be the type to cheat he was a sweet boy and I was his first ever girlfriend. It hurt that he could just go out with someone else while we were still going out.

So I guess this is affecting my decision of wether I even want a boyfriend I guess I'm just afraid I'll get hurt again. So I don't know if I should just stop having crushes or not.

I think I'll just wait until I can actually find someone that likes me for who I am and I know won't hurt me. I believe that sounds like a good idea. I've been single for a whole year I think I can do it for a little longer.