Inside My Mind: The Phantom of the Opera as told by Miss Christine Daae

Chapter 18: Twisted Every Way

I stare at Raoul, and with a sudden anger and fear in my voice say "Raoul, I'm frightened. Don't make me do this." He runs over to me and embraces me. I continue "Raoul it scares me. Don't put me through this ordeal by fire. He'll take me I know, we'll be parted forever. He won't let me go." Raoul has since led me over to the manager's desk chair and lowered me into it. He drops to one knee so that I can look in his eyes. My voice lowers and I just sound fearful now. "What I once used to dream, I now dread. If he finds me, it won't ever end. And he'll always be there singing songs in my head. He'll always be there singing songs in my head."

I hear Carlotta say "she's mad". Well she would be going insane too, if she were in my shoes. Raoul takes my hands and looks into my eyes. "You said yourself, he was nothing but, a man. Yet while he lives, he will haunt us til we're dead". With every amount of courage I have left in me, I start singing. "Twisted every way, what answer can I give?" I slowly stand up and walk away from the chair as I continue "Am I to risk my life to win the chance to live? Can I betray the man who once inspired my voice? Do I become his prey? Do I have any choice? He kills without a thought, he murders all that's good. I know I can refuse, and yet, I wish I could." I feel my legs give out from underneath me and Raoul catches me.

The fear still lingers in my voice as he leads me back to the chair "Oh God, if I agree, what horrors wait for me, in this, the Phantom's Opera?" Raoul kneels in front of me again and says "Christine, Christine. Don't think, that I don't care. But every hope, and every prayer rests on you now". Is he insane? He's basically asking me to put my life on the line. Everyone starts talking to me at once, and I've finally had enough. I stand up from the chair and scream "I can't!" before running out of the room. Raoul screams after me "CHRISTINE!" As I pass through the doorway, I hear him exclaim "SO, IT IS TO BE WAR BETWEEN US! BUT THIS TIME, MY CLEVER FRIEND, THE DISTASTER WILL BE YOURS!" I run to my dressing room, open the door, let it slam behind me and lock it before I collapse on the floor in tears.

The same day, a while later...

I don't know how I found the strength to, but I am now sitting in rehearsal for the opera that will either lead to my death or the end of the Phantom's wrath. The ensemble is singing now, but I can't even focus. Why am I here? Why did I agree to this?

"Hide our sword now wounded knight! Your vainglorious gasconade brought you to your final fight for your pride, high price you've paid! My cue brings me back into focus and I sing my line "Silken couch and hay-filled barn, both have been his battlefield. Piangi comes in with his line 'those who tahn gil weeeth Don Juan!" Monsieur Reyer cuts him off. "No, no, no, no. Chorus rest please. Don Juan, SIGNOR PIANGI!" "Si?" Piangi asks. "This is the phrase" Monsieur Reyer plays the chords on the piano. "Thons who TAYngle with Don Juan! If you please". Piangi tries again "Those who TAHNgel with Don HUAN!"

This sends Carlotta chucking, and Monsieur Reyer is not amused. "Nearly, but no!" Monsieur plays just the first part. "Those who Tayng Tayng Tayng". Clearly mocking him, Piangi tries yet again "Those who TAHN TAHN TAHN". Carlotta chimes in "Oh, his way is better. At least HE makes it sounds like music!" This comment sends the chorus into a laughing mess. Will they ever learn? "SIGNORA!" Madame Giry exclaims "Would you speak that way in the presence of the composer?" She makes a valid point. Not taking the hint, Carlotta continues "The composer, is not here. And if he were here I would........" Madame Giry cuts her off "Can you be certain of that, Signora?" Monsieur Reyer, a clear tremble in his voice says "Well once again then, if you please, Signor Piangi. After seven!" He plays the chords and then says abruptly "FIVE SIX SEVEN!"

Clearly not learning his lesson, Piangi mocks the score saying "Those who have been tangling with Don Juan!" Carlotta is fed up and she chimes in "Ugh, what does it matter what notes we sing. No one will know if it is right or wrong. No one will CARE!" She mocks the score and sings "THOSE WHO TANGLE WITH DON JUAN!" To everyone's surprise, the piano starts playing on its own. I stand up, place my score on the piano and walk away from rehearsal. From behind me, I hear the chorus singing "Poor young maiden! For the thrill on your tongue of stolen sweets you will have to pay the bill - tangled in the winding sheets!" As they file out, someone hands me my cloak and for the first time in a long time, I am left alone.

Standing on the center of the room, I start singing to myself those fateful words "In sleep he sang to me, in dreams he came. That voice which calls to me, and speaks my name!"