Something that I never thought I would be doing is changing my major again. My major was Theater but then I did not get into the program and realized that I did not even want to be in the program in the first place so why was I even trying. So my first semester at school, I was undecided and then in-between semesters, I changed it to Psychology. Woo this was a big step for me.
I wanted to have Psychology as my major because my ultimate goal in life is to be a therapist. Therapy and counseling is ultimate something that I have always had my heart set on. When I was in high school I was always the person that all my friends went to when they needed advice. I always felt that I as one person that everybody could come to because no matter what I had some sort of idea on what they could do to solve their situation. Even though sometimes they never took my advice and whatever they were going through.
But literally the turn for the worst happened for me when I actually got into my psych class. So I thought I was doing really good and everything but it turns out that I was not. Honestly I do not even know what went wrong. I went to class every day and did the quizzes and everything but when it came to the exams I was broken. That is the only way that I could explain my winter semester of psychology. I ended up getting a 1.9 in the class overall but I needed a 2.0 for my major. I spent the whole last week of school and whole summer pissed at myself because I could not for the life of me figure out why and the hell I did not pass. So, I ended up signing up for the fall semester Psych 100.
So that is what I am currently in. and Lord Jesus let me tell you. I am still struggle bussing with it and I have no idea what the fuck is wrong with me. I am trying my hardest to do everything correctly but yet I still seem to be sucking ass. I get 90% of higher on all of the I-Clicker quizzes and 95% or better on the actual quizzes and that's 20 percent of my grade. And the exams are 80 percent of my grade and that is the part that I am sucking at. Like how the fuck am I failing when I am doing everything correctly like I am really fucking confused here guys. Everybody is like oh go do this or do that. And I'm over here like ALREADY FUCKING DOING THAT. So, I have made the grown up decision and change my major.
You may ask why I changed my major though. I changed my major because I know that if I am struggling in a 100 level class, how am I going to feel in a 300 or 400 hundred level class because those are going to be even harder. And I cannot physically, mentally or financially keep having to re take classes. So I changed my major. So as of right now I am a Sociology major and a Woman and Gender Studies minor. But deep down inside I am still freaking the fuck out because what if I don't pass all the classes that I need or what if I do keep just having all of these panic attacks and I don't know how to deal with him.
Thankfully when I talked to my academic advisor she calmed me down and lot and told me that I have a lot of options and that I am not totally doomed. All else fails then we turn my minor into my major. When I did not want to have to do that but at this point I think that it might be nice because I am doing well in my woman and gender studies classes. So as of right now I am just trying to get my shit together and have everything that I need for the rest of my college career. At this point it is going to take me a total of 6 years to finish college. But I would it rater take me a long time to finish rather than not being able to finish at all anymore. So cheers to me for being super super proud of myself for what I have accomplished because I did not think that I would even get this far. I got my shit together fairly quickly.
