My family will always be one of the reasons that I hate and love life. Sometimes they can be the most supportive people and then sometimes they can be the worst people in the world. More and more it turns out that they can be the worst people in the world.
My relationships have always been with guys that my mom has liked. But for some reason she has a problem with Caden. I have no idea why she has this problem other than what has happened in the past with him. It is not like Caden has done anything wrong to me, other than when we would get into fights all the time. But at this point in my life, the fights that we use to get into were just petty little fights that do not even matter in the world anymore. Granted I did use to complain about Caden a lot because we did get into a lot of fights, but after not talking for a two year period I think that we grew up.
I do not think that my mom sees that I grew up a lot over the past couple of years because I am not the same girl I was when I was in middle school. I have matured a lot in my life and I did not think that I would mature this much. In my mom's eyes I am still this little perfect girl who gets good grades and doesn't do anything wrong. Well news flash mom. I am not that little girl anymore. I don't get as good of grades as I wish I would, I am not perfect by any means. I have done bad things in my life, some I wish that I could take back. But I would not change what has happened in my life. What has happened, happened for a reason.
My sisters are a whole other story that I do not even think I could explain at once. I have two older sisters and I honestly like them and hate them at the same time. On one hand my one sister is five years older than me and we usually have a lot in common but for the past couple of years we have been growing a part. Sometimes I think that I will always be the "little" sister in her eyes even though I act older than her. I am more mature than her at times. Ever since I went to college she has tried to say I am such a person but what she has in her mind of who I am, and what I actually am are two different people. My other sister who is two years older than me, Lord Jesus. I do not even know how to get we are sisters at times because she is so freaking annoying. Lord Jesus. I will never understand her. She freaking complains about everything but will never do anything about it. This happens way too many times. Let's take how she baby sits my nephews for my other sister, which she said that she would do it, but she complains about that all the time. She will never get a real job, because every time she has an interview or the chance to have an interview, she will never do anything about it. She also will complain about things at church or at home that happen, but she will never do anything about it. Most of the time she will just blame me for it, or whatever happened. Because somehow it is always my fault, whatever. Take this church thing that is happening. A "dress code" is trying to be put into place, saying that if the youth want to do anything in the church, we have to dress up at least once a month. Which this is complete bull shit. Trying to put this dress code in place will just drive the youth away. Why are you trying to drive the youth away so bad? We already do not want to come to church because of how the elders treat us. But never will be actually be able to do something because no matter what, someone will say something about it. And my sister, will not do anything about it. My sister is supposed to be the voice of the youth, but she isn't. She does a horrible job at it. And you know why? She does a horrible job because she hates conflict. Any chance she gets, she break down and cries so bad.
My father I do not even know how to explain him because I honestly hate him so much. I mean I love him so much but at times I want to just scream. Honestly at times I wish that he never would have left us. But at time it is better because I do not have to see him anymore because honestly I hate my step mother. Oh God my step mother is a completely different story to be honest. I do not even know if I can handle her for more than two weeks. Let's just talk about how I went out to Washington for a couple weeks during the summer and half way through the first week I was ready to come home. Why was I ready to come you may ask? Nobody told me that I would be staying at my step sister's house even though I pretty much assumed that I would be. But on top of that nobody told me that my nieces and nephews' cousins would be staying over the same amount of time that I would be staying over. Which that pissed me off even more because they were super clingy. All I wanted to do was to be able to spend some time will my niece who I love and adore. But of course I couldn't because one of her cousins was over, who I guess isn't her real cousin, but they were all kissy and lovey dovey on top of each other the whole time. Like honestly what the fuck. But whatever I guess I had a good time overall.
