Real Me

Breaking Apart

Flick

Summer time. We've finally graduated from high school.

It's been months since I was committed to Austin. Wow, committed. It's actually nice to hear, but I'm afraid he'll be torn apart now that I'm going to confess about my parent's plan plan for me. 

I cried all night and beg my parents if they could break that arrangement between their friend's son and me. But they just felt sorry. I love them so much that if I wanted to hat them, I couldn't. Even though I'm well aware that they are treating me like a toy. 

It's so unfair! They get to know each other by the work of fate while me was being given or offered to someone I never ever even have feelings for! Yes, I believe in fate. And though I know that people will judge me and underestimate me, calling me a fool if I tell them that I'm head over heels in love with Austin Rory, I wouldn't be ashamed because I am.

I don't have any choice because I'm still under my parent's rules.

Now's the time you prove your promise Austin. I'm still holding on it and never plan on letting go.

Austin

"It's now or never, Brenn."

"Good luck to you, Bro." Brenner, the ever supportive best friend of mine replied sincerly. He knows the real me.

The day where I will make my real self known to Flee finally arrived. Or I shall say the past me. She changed me actually. I've been preparing this day ever since I felt something for her.

I break the call off with Brenner once I saw her coming to me with baggy eyes? What happened to my love? Why does she looks hurt?

I saw a tear escaped my her eye and that caused my feet to run to her and hug her. She hugged me back. I can sense something's really not well. She's always cheerful and jolly. But now she looks like her world came crashing down.

I called her last night to meet me hear where we held our first date and told her I have something to confess. I hope she didn't assume I'm proposing to her though I will really make it in the future.

I brought her under the shade of a big tree and together we sit down.

"Love, what's wrong? Why are crying? Who hurt you?"

She's sobbing quietly. "Austin, tell me first what you wanted me to know. Please."

I was confuse. But I followed her though. I laid out the pictures that I sent to her before. The pictures of a nerd-looking boy who beats another and a lot of guys. Now she's the on confused.

"Why do you have this?" She asked.

I took a very deep breath."Love, do you remember this?" She nodded."That nerdy-looking guy is me. Beating those guys badly because they did a very small bad thing to me. I'm that cruel before." She looked shocked and I'm fearing she would leave because of this. "People might think that I'm the very weakest person at that time but I was actually the one even being served like a king. It happened before I transfered to our school. Before I met you." She said nothing, react nothing. Yet her tears flowing more and more every second.

"Flee, please don't let me go. I only did those things because I was a spoiled jerk and a heartless monster. You changed me, Flee." Please don't ever let me go. Please.

"Austin, whoever, whatever you are, I don't care because I'm already connected to you. And I can't be pulled off of you anymore." She's now sobbing really hard. "But I think you should let me go now."

"What?"

"I was fixed in a marriage with somebody I don't know. I'm going to marry him after college. And I can't get out of that whatever I do. We do." At that my whole world came crashing down. My confession about myself was nothing compared to what she is carrying.

"Flee, I will fight for you."

"No, you can't! They are so powerful and though they have a close bond with my parents, they will make they're life miserable! And I can't even imagine them suffering because of my decision."

"It's not YOUR decision, it's THEY'RE decision! They made that and what? You'll be the one suffering because of them? We'll be the one suffering?! Flee, I can't let that happen! I can' live without you. I love you. Please fight for us. Fight for me. Because I will fight for you no matter what it takes."

Flick

I'm such a devil. 

Dear Love,

I'm so sorry. But I have to do this. As much as I want to be with you no matter how short it is as long as I'm with you, I can't be selfish and see my parents suffer. I'm just adopted, and this is my only way of repaying them. They just said it a moment ago before I write this letter to you.

Thank you for everything. Thank you for the real love you shown to me and let me enjoyed it. Thank you for the thrill of not letting me know that you already know who is the on bringing cookies to you. Thank you for the special friendship that you let me feel aside from Brenner, of course. Thank you that even for a short time, you let me experience and love how to truly love a real person like you.

I'll be physically away. I don't know how long. Maybe a lifetime. Ouch, that hurts. But just always put in your heart that I will always be attached to you. And I will never let you go.

I'm so sorry again if I can't fight for you. And if being attached to you is all I can offer.

I love you, Austin Rory.

                                                                                                                                                                       I'll forever be yours,

                                                                                                                                                                       Flick

I deceived him. I said to him that okay, we will both fight. But when I saw his car running away from me after he took me home, I started packing my things ready to leave for England. I asked my parents to go to Brenner first and bid my goodbye. I gave to him my letter to Austin and he said he'll take care of it.

I thanked him for everything he gave me. Especially his support.

I'm now inside the plane, staring bitterly at the land I'm leaving. This land gave me a hardship that no matter how many hardships are thrown at me, this one will always be the hardest. And that is leaving the only man I deeply love for someone I never even seen just his shadow.

But also this land is where I met Austin. I don't care about what he said his past was. It's true that whoever he is, whatever he is, I'm still loving him. And will always love him.

Austin Rory, if we're meant to each other, fate will come between us. And when it already did its job, it's the strongest and will never be broken nor separated.

Goodbye for now, Love.