You, Minus the Fame

Chapter 14

      "Have a nice day," I said, smiling as the customer I served got up from his table.

      "You too, sweetheart," said the elderly man. "Goodbye."  

      My smile grew as I waved and turned around, knowing it was time to go home. Walking towards the employees room, I was surprised to hear someone call my name. Turning around, I saw Rachel smiling at me from the front counter. Curious, I walked to her.

      "Hey," I said, stopping in front of her.

      "Cara." Her smile grew. "I am so proud of you. You've really gotten comfortable with this job."

     I smiled shyly, knowing it was true. Once upon a time I had been a nervous wreck, but now I was able to work with a smile on my face and a calm heartbeat. After my talk with Britney, I had worked even harder to love my job and I did. I loved working here.

      "Thank you," I said, smiling. "I enjoy being here."

      "That's great," Rachel said. "Me along with our customers love to have you here."

      I flushed, but I was touched by that. Knowing people loved me was nice to hear. Now that I was trying to teach myself to love every bit of me and express it, those words were welcoming.

      Rachel then told me to head home, so I did, thanking her again. Walking to the employees room, I went to the change room and changed into jeans and a warm winter jacket. As I zipped up my jacket, I couldn't help but think about Reece. It had been a month since we had last seen each other, and I didn't know how to feel about that.

      Not wanting to feel my usual sting of pain at the thought of Reece, I looked at the mirror in front of me. I took my hair out of my ponytail and let my hair fall around my face. Moving my hair around, I frowned as nothing looked right. No matter what I did, I didn't look attractive. I sighed at that, knowing completely loving myself would be difficult. Even though I liked who I was on the inside, I still had this fear people didn't. I didn't know why, but I knew I had to work on my confidence.

     Tired of staring at my face, I just left my hair out and around my face. Without a second glance, I then exited the changeroom. Staring at the ground in front of me, I quickly left the cafe and headed outside. I couldn't wait to be home.

     Once outside, I looked up. Now that Reece was gone, I had to bus home. But for some reason, everyday I looked around the parking lot for him. It was always depressing because I never found him there, but I always had lost hope within me.

      But this time as I stared at the nearly empty parking lot, my eyes fell on a tall boy. A tall boy who had his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets and his brown hair blowing with the wind. He was staring directly at me, and my heart dropped. It was Reece.

      I stood where I was staring at him, unsure of what to do. I didn't expect to see him ever again, so I was caught off guard. Even more surprised to see him staring at me. A part of my heart had accepted that he had never needed me, so he had just moved on with his life. That part of me felt relieved as he began to walk over to me.

      I stayed frozen in my spot as Reece neared me. By body was shaking, and I hoped he would assume it was due to how cold it was, not because of him. I tried to convince myself of that too. 

      Once Reece was standing in front of me, his eyes softened. I stared at the green eyes I loved, and my heart began to pound. I was nervous, scared, but excited too. For once, the worst case scenario wasn't present in my mind.

      "Cara," Reece said quietly. "Cara..."

      He looked down and I noticed how pained he looked. It was satisfying knowing he was also hurting, which made me feel selfish. But after what he said and did, I was able to manage that feeling.

       "I'm sorry," he finally said. "I'm an asshole. It kills me to know that, but that's what I am."

      He stared at me and my heart sunk, seeing how hurt he looked. Once again, I wanted to put this behind us. I wanted us to return back to the way things were, but I also knew better. For me to grow I had to stop being submissive. Reece was right in that way, I had to believe in myself and speak the truth.

      "You're not an asshole," I finally said. "Most of the time."

      "What I said was wrong," Reece said, unaltered by my words. "I should never have been mad. I should never have told you to change. I..."

      "What?" I whispered.

      "I just wanted you to be happy," he said helplessly.

       "And you knew if I was more confident I would be."

      His eyes widened, and I could tell he was shocked. I smiled at that, knowing that in one month I had changed a bit. Now I wasn't so scared to say what was what.

      "You wanted me to be me freely," I said, seeing that he wouldn't say anything.

      "Yes, I wanted you to be you freely. I wanted you to show everyone how incredible you are," he said, eyes softening. "I wanted you to relax and enjoy life instead of being so afraid of what everyone would think of you. That's why I wanted you to be open, I guess. Not because you need to make a million friends, but because I wanted you to smile freely without fearing what others would think."

      Reece took a deep breath in and my heart softened. As he stepped closer to me, my heart then accelerated. Seeing him so gentle made me want to hug him, but I restrained myself. We were in the middle of understanding everything.

       "But, I didn't want you forcing yourself to be a social butterfly. I didn't want you forcing yourself to speak to strangers, and I definitely didn't want you dancing with strangers either," he said. "I realized when it was too late that I love who you are and that I wanted nothing more than for you to embrace it and show the world. That was my mistake, and I'm sorry."

      My heart skipped a beat and I smiled. This was actually happening, I realized. Reece had realized what Britney had told me and we were going to start again. I felt incredibly happy.

       "It's okay," I said. "Nobody's perfect. That's something I'm trying to learn."

      Reece smiled. "Yes, that's true and it's okay not to be perfect. Being who you is more important."

      "That's something we both realized," I whispered.

       Reece hugged me suddenly and I instantly stopped shivering. I felt warm in his arms and my heartbeat steadied, knowing everything was finally alright. We were alright and we understood each other finally. This seemed to be a start of something wonderful.

       "You know," Reece said. "I wonder why you don't love yourself." 

      I flushed, embarrassed. "Why?"

      "Because to me you're perfect."

      I rolled my eyes, but I smiled. "Didn't we just say people aren't perfect and that okay."

      "Fine, you're near perfect."

      I laughed and rolled my eyes again. His arms tightened around me, and I sighed happily. There was no need for me to force myself to be someone else. All I needed to do was be able to show everyone who I was without feeling insecure. With Reece at my side, I had hope that one day I would be able to do that.