Answer Me

Chapter 19

There were days that I loved flipping through my book and read back what I had written. Some days, I would just walk to the park where I first got the call from Riley and read. The place held quite a number of memories for me. Not just that was the place where I was sitting when Riley called me, that was the place that had witnessed how fragile I was and how broken I could be when sticks and stones were thrown at me.

"May I have it?" Riley asked for the book in my hand. I handed it to him. His fingers agilely flipped to the first page of the book. The author's note part. He liked that part a lot, he said. Then, he gave the book with the first page open back to me. My forehead contorted in confusion.

"Read it," he said.

"Read it by yourself."

"No, I want to have the privilege of hearing the author herself reading it." I rolled my eyes at him who was doing his adorable wide smile that could make me melt at any times, any places.

I cleared my throat.

Dear all the girls around the world,

I guess there are too much happening in our heads. All of our life, we would always want to be loved and we want to be seen as strong. In our way to fulfil those wants, we accidentally let insecurities, anxiety and some stupid society's impression to influence our mind, making us see ourselves in a different way. The negative ones.

We are never alone. Because this is what most women will feel. Including me. And I'm telling you in this printed version of my thoughts and my stories to take you with me out of this dungeon of pessimism. I've been through the torture of fulfilling those wants and I don't want to step out alone. That will be so selfish of me.

I admit to still feeling insecure of my looks now but, I do realize that human will never learn of satisfaction and gratefulness. If we can't be beautiful in human eyes, we still have our own hidden treasure inside us, our own talent. Find it and unleash it to the world.

Now, think about it. All of us have flaws but, none of us doesn't have our own beauty. If you looked at others, they have their own flaws too. Be happy with what God has created on you. We are the jewels of the Earth. Just like jewels, we are beautiful but, we can never be perfect. We can be better. We can never be 100% beautiful because that's not how the world works. Every flaw and beauty are meant to complete each other until it becomes a perfectly balanced masterpiece.

Don't feel bad because we all have our own treasure. You're beautiful and please, love yourself at its best.

xoxo, Erin the Potato

I didn't realize that I was already in Riley's arms. His nose was on my neck, his breath tickled my skin a bit. He kissed me on my cheek when I finished and before he pulled away, he murmured at my ear. "Beautifully written. Just like the writer. You are changing the world, beautiful."

I turned back to look at him. Our smiles reflected. His hazel eyes bore into mine with pride and something like thankfulness.

Maybe I wasn't naturally stunning like Ann and Ali. Maybe I wasn't as stylish as other girls. But I was happy being me. Obviously, I didn't need those because the guy who loved me didn't love me for my looks but, my inside.

I was the girl who demanded answers.

Well, some people will remember me for my talent and my heart.

I am a good person with a bit of bad side. That can be fixed anyway.

I don't really care what you will think of myself because all that matters is what I think of myself.

I don't need anyone to answer my questions anymore. I can answer it by myself.

Who am I?

I am one of the beautiful God creatures called woman.