Impossible Bad Wolf

2 Weeks Ago

FlashBack
English class
2 weeks ago

I started noticing Natalie when I caught her staring at me one day it was weird, It felt weird. Soon enough it wasn't the last time. I started to tell my friends and ask them for advice, one thought that I was being paranoid the other that it was in my mind.

I was going crazy so I got my 3 spies in the school to figure out and get all  the Intel I needed. The thing is that I'm not good at noticing if someone is into me or not, anymore. Ever since I started dating Carmen things got really difficult. However it was the new puzzle I had to solve, I soon had the idea of putting a timer on, imagine.

I was weirded out...a timer crazy huh.

The next few days it was me who was staring at her. I can't argue with the fact that she is beautiful she is independent strong and nobody can hold her down, you can just notice that by just looking at her and getting to hear how she speaks in such a strong character.

oh my god I might be smiling like an idiot right now

The thing that gets me about this girl is that she's passionate about life she feels strongly about what she believes in. She knows the world is not a fairytale but sometimes it can be, at least that's what I think, she gives that vibe that she doesn't give up easily she is amazing the impossible, can you see what draws me in like a trap.

I remember she talked about what she wanted to become once high school end she barely talks about it anymore but she would be amazing at it there's no doubting that.

With all honesty if anyone would make it big in the whole school, it's most likely her. Going back to the main topic...

She had caught me a few times as well, I tried to be in the same group as her as much as I could we have about three classes in common and every single time I see my schedule that I have those classes even if they suck I love them.

I believe it was a specific class that I kinda got it, I even began to think and rewind my memory that is horrible but the way all of that was happening it made me remember my time with Carmen and just for a while I thought that I might be falling for her.

End of Flashback.

Walking through the halls heading towards my global class I began to think why haven't I noticed her before, was it because of Carmen. I mean she was here way before Carmen even showed up and I never pay attention to her. Maybe it was the fact that when she was with Chad and everything to my eyes they looked like the perfect couple high school sweethearts yeah that. In high school everyone wears a mask sometimes I would've noticed.

Before Carmen even came to the school I swore I would never fall in love again but I guess I couldn't keep my own promises. If I think back now Natalie has been there, she had save me from countless amount of very life or death situations she has been a good friend to me I wouldn't actually call her friend because we've never hanged out or talked but when I think about it she's always there helping me get out of  tough situations or and a uncomfortable one.

I Hope is not too late. Now I hope I never say she was the one who got away, well the one that I let get away.

The thing this year is that I'm not going falling for Natalie, there's this girl name Brooke she has that mysterious sexy personality that I love and a badass as well.

I have this code and I live by what, I never steal anyone away from anyone. I mean they don't belong to that person but I guess I don't want to be that kind of guy that takes advantage of someone while their relationship is damaged. I mean every relationship goes downhill but I don't want to be with that person fall in love with them and then they go back to the person I stole them away from. I know that if I do that the girl that I stole away won't love me as much as she loved her ex. They might even still have strong felling for each other.
Also because I don't want to be a asshole or that boyfriend that everyone keeps talking about how you should leave him and go back with the person that you had.

Once somebody someone asked me
"How can you love someone if you can't love yourself?"
I never got to have a good answer, to be honest I did what any other fifteen year old would do in these day, I googled it. It get repeating you can't, I was trying to get an idea until well the perspective shifted.
Then I thought of myself and my story, and I just let my heart speak so this might be it.
"You can't, that's what everyone says. I'm not everyone, sometimes loving someone else can make you see and feel that your not as terrible inside."
Then I thought about last year.
"I hated myself, I still do. I've compared myself to a Dalek, but loving someone
can make you forget about how much hurt and how much you hate yourself"

That someone clearly didn't love herself. The quote that I find most stupid is  'if you can't love yourself no one will love you' it's not true.

-------

Lamont got me out of my deep thoughts, by snapping his fingers in front of my face, you know that's really rude. I've stopped doing that ever since a friend of mine told me something personal.

"He's back on earth, how was your trip space boy?"
"Landing was tough" I joked

"So Monster Ball, I hope it isn't hot in there"
"Oh it won't be" Mia was buried in the history textbook once she spoke.

"And how do you know this" Lamont's typical sassiest was activated

"Oh I well I over heard when the teachers where talking about some vents thing and freezing cold gym" she put the book down.

"That doesn't say anything!" he screamed in a clam voice, Mia rolled her eyes now fixing her glasses, she looked at me and I gave her a small smile practically both of us agreeing he was nervous for the dance because of his crush, that had switched to Masy high short for Masione from our school. Something happened with those two last year and knowing Lamont it was rated M.

His name is Colin, he is your casual fashion lover boy the kind that has to look perfect in every selfie. That hides everything from everyone and has about five different life's.
"What ever" Mia went back to her text book

"So what are you going as?" He asked, I stud silent.
"I'm not going"

"What! Why!"

"I got to meet my friends sister today, we're hanging out"

"oh but can't you cancel?"

"Not really I will try to there for a few"

"Yes!" He leaned over to hug her in a tight embrace letting go while the most annoying teacher came over to our table.

"Okay guys this is a remin-" I shut him off, just turned off my attention like I do when I'm home. Literally I just heard my music, rumors by Jake Miller was now playing and my mind went straight to Natalie.