Measurements

3.

  I went to my class and tried to pay attention to the lesson. As much as I wanted to know how to write the "perfect essay", for history, I couldn't stop thinking about Kyle and Kai. I wondered why Kai would stand up to me in front of his friends. I just couldn't wrap my head around him or someone actually standing up for me.  I always had to fight for myself and most of the time I failed.

  Once class was over I gathered my things and left with my friends. They didn't ask me questions this time, in which I was glad for. Then for some reason I got sad. I wish they would bombard me with questions, put me under pressure without me cracking.

  I bid farewell and walked to my next class. Math. I was in Algebra II and it was boring. My teacher was okay. He just had a monotone voice, which meant it was hard to pay attention for the lesson.  

  I walked into the class and sat down in my usual seat. At the back row, in the corner. I was content with being invisible. I kind of liked it, but when the teacher said my name and students would say,"Who's that,"  it would hurt me. I felt if I died no one would notice. Would anyone notice? 

  The lesson was all about graphing, so it wasn't very important. When the bell rang I gathered my belongings and walked hurriedly to my locked. Lunch was my least favorite time during school. As one should see, I was fat, so I believed people would judge me while I was eating. I would practically starve in school if my best friend wouldn't make me eat. I dreaded eating in front of people, but I was happy and glad that she would feed me. It showed me that someone actually cared about me, at least a little bit.

  One by one everyone went to the cafeteria. I blended in with the crowd like a fish under the sea. They entered the line as did I. I was panicking. What should I eat? What about this? If I get salad would people not judge me? How about pizza? I really want pizza. But I'm fat I should stop eating pizza. I should stop eating a lot of things. Everything. 

  My breathing started to get more rapid. Tears rushed to my eyes. I started to shake. It was like a plastic bag draped over me and was suffocating me. These attacks don't happen all the time. It was just with the days' events I was erupting like a volcano. 

Crap not again. Not twice in one day. I can't deal with this today. I wanted something to swallow me whole so I could just disappear. Then all of a sudden a hand grabbed my shoulder. I turned around.

"There you are I was looking for you," sneered Kyle. I looked at him in pure horror. My attack became worse. I dropped my tray, in which I had forgotten about, and my vision blurred. I, also, forgot how to breathe. 

"Are you okay?" someone said.

"What did to do to her?" another voice asked.

"Nothing," That someone said.

"She's having a panic attack," said a girl.

"Someone get a nurse,"

"No," I said.

"I'm here," said the other voice.

"Kai?" I asked then I blacked out.

  I woke up in the nurse's office on the uncomfortable bed. My fat butt was not liking it. As I struggled my way up I got lightheaded and I groaned.

"You're not supposed to sit up that fast," said a voice. I looked to my left so fast I got whiplash. When I turned I made I eye contact with Kai. 

"Aren't you supposed to be in class?" I questioned. He got up and loomed over me.

"Please don't scare me like that again, please," his voice was laced with sadness and I felt kind of guilty and a warm feeling that was not describable.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as I put my head down.

"No need to be sorry,"

"Okay."

"Can I ask you a question now?"

"You may,"

"What did Kyle say to you that made you have that attack,"

"Honestly nothing. It was the eating part that made me have the attack. He just came at a not so convenient time. Bad timing that's all. Is he in trouble? Please tell me he's not in trouble because of me. I don't want to cause any more problems,"

"No. He's not in trouble,"

"Okay...good," Kai was walking back and forth and was in deep thought. I just sat on the very stiff bed swinging my legs back and forth.

"Eliza?" he asked.

"Yes, Kai?"

"Why were you panicking about eating?"

"I don't like eating in public,"

"Why?"

"People judge me because..."

"Because?"

"I'm fat."

"Oh..."

"Yeah," 

  I was afraid that would happen. I messed up everything.

"You don't..." he started.

"Kai, please don't. By definition I'm fat. There's no escaping it. There's no avoiding it. I'm f-a-t," I interrupted.

"Okay then I won't say anything about it then," he promised.

"Good. Thank you,"

"Well, I have to go to practice now. Asia said she would be back to pick you up and take you home because she had to talk to your teacher to get your work,"

"Wait. What time is it?"

"4:25,"

"Why didn't you tell me this when I thought school was in session?"

"I don't know. I'm sorry,"

"It's okay...this time," we laughed as he gathered his things. He walked over to me and bent down near my ear.

"I like you the way you are," he whispered in my ear, then he kissed my forehead and walked out of the office. I swear I died right there.