APHRODITE;
the first time a man told me he loved me,
he rolled on the balls of his feet,
wrung his hands in his lap,
stared at me like i was made of alchemy,
all things macabre and without heat.
he would bury his head in my chest,
his hands, his exodus,
home — is in a woman.
the first time a woman told me she loved me,
she tightened her strings, laid them up with fine resin,
her voice was honey — the warmest concerto
her words ran like war, spilled from her lips like
blood. like blood.
like a sugar-coated pill.
she did not feel fear,
and she was warm in all the ways god was not.
the first time a man told me he loved me,
he fashioned a bridge for me out of tightly-woven pity
and apologies — enough of the both of us.
he smiled,
eyes the color of brass,
rust,
a slow-ticking pair of lips that ran like time.
i would never let him touch me.
the first time a woman told me she loved me,
i buried myself in her mouth.
a girl — a pyre,
i tucked myself in, i tucked myself in.
she
traced words on my forehead
and they lingered like an epitaph.
for here lies the girl who felt too much.
the first time a man told me he loved me,
there was sand between my teeth,
cuts on my gums.
this house goes down, crumbling
first the ceiling, then the walls —
always the walls.
mortar settles in my skin like an old curse
and i beg you,
don't make me lie.
the first time a woman told me she loved me,
her crown fell off her head,
pow!
still, she glowed.
her heat tore through my body,
merciless.
every atom in my body burst apart,
until i was no longer a person,
only a past tense,
rubble and dust.
the first time a man told me he loved me,
something went very cold.
there are no red doors,
there are no warm kettles
no open curtains
no dirtied welcome mats from feet the size of oranges.
because home is in a woman —
but i am not her.
the first time a woman told me she loved me,
i felt like a mourner,
and she was a steeple, a saint, a sinner.
her eyes were black,
and my heart was gold.
she was all-consuming,
unforgiving, running, running,
headlong
into our own mutually-assured destruction.
---
hey there long time no see
brief explanation:
also i've always loved the hephaestus/aphrodite/ares love tangle but this is my own take on it. i've gender bent ares and it's more like a study in self-discovery and sexuality than a love story, but whateva, i'm just playing into the gay agenda
but anyways, i hope y'all enjoyed aphrodite. !!! my creative life force is awakened once again for spring break. thx for reading. *slowly fazes out*
