Why?

My Darkness

I thought I found my light
I thought they could change me from my darken days
I thought the sun would always shine as long as they were there
I believed it...I'm giving up
The spark is gone, as much as I'm telling myself it's still there...
It's not
I can't fix it because it's not right
Bringing myself into something that can't be changed
I was always happy to go there...as long as they were there
Seeing there faces whilst mine never changed
Hearing there words but never reacting
I was trapped
Emotions getting the better of me
Until I lost hope
The colour draining from me in that split second
I was done
Well I thought I was but I can't be right
Someone had to prove to me, tell me I was wrong
But they won't, there eyes showing something
Something more...something different
But it's not enough
I've changed, sinking more into the darkness with each second
I don't need saving
I just don't want to be saved, I'm strong...on the outside
I'm capable in believing whatever I want
And that ruins me, they ruin me
It's not fair anymore
I'm never gonna win, thinking I'm nearly there
But to only get shoved right back down
I need to stop thinking
Not entirely but enough to not lose it
I'll get through it...eventually