[TOO FAR GONE] - DAMIAN WAYNE - DC COMICS

forget it.

Everytime I put on the mask, it felt right... Almost as if I wasn't wearing one at all. I didn't feel restrained, and I wasn't holding back anymore. I didn't have to question myself, question my doings... The mask that literally covered my entire face, metaphorically put an end to the fake persona I had once sported. I should've never been Robin. That was a lie. But this was the truth. I was Red X... I am Red X.

He took me in roughly seventeen months ago. I slept in the spare room of his low key apartment, and did my best not to bother him. I knew he had an agenda of his own, as did I. He was strictly my partner. I didn't have time to be his brother... Didn't have the time to be his friend either. We fought side by side, but that was it. The second we returned home, I was off in my own world, as he was in his own. He was still fond of his old friend alcohol, and ever since he visited Roy a few months ago, I knew he made a new buddy, who let's just say was clingy at the arm. I'll be honest, I was pretty disappointed. I was expecting more from him, especially considering he's got me around now.

Despite how much I know, and can comprehend, I'm still just a fifteen year old, and truthfully, I didn't need any of that from him. I mean he's only nineteen himself, which, I might add isn't even of the age to do half the shit he does. What a rule breaker... Such a convict... Okay, so maybe I don't have the authority to call these shots when I myself have broken a rule or two. But still, it was only two rules at absolute max, and let's be honest I wasn't reckless enough to smoke, drink, and stab myself with a needle... That's a different kind of insane... So I have a few problems with the guy, but hey, it's not like I want him to die! You know, again...

I could tell when he got upset... He would drink a bottle or two extra in hopes of drowning himself. I couldn't watch most of the time, but it was almost as if he only did it in front of me. And I just didn't want to see it! There weren't many things that scared me, but Jay drunk was certainly one of them. With each sip you can see his true self drift. And then the next thing you know, he's gone. It was weird. I know he recently just got into heroin, and alcohol had always kind of been his thing, but if I'm going to be honest, I'll give him the credit where it's due. When I first arrived at his apartment, it wasn't this bad. He barely drank, if any at all, and heroin was definitely not a part of his daily routine like it is now. When I first moved in, he was fine... He was Jason... But now he was lost...

I was curious to know what made him go back to his old ways. What drove him to try new things. Things that are twenty times worse and that much more dangerous. It sounds kind of ridiculous to say that considering the risks we both take on the daily, but come on, it was a different kind of liability. It's not like I was causing him to act this way... I left him alone, like I had since day one. I knew better than to get in his way. Just like he should know not to get in mine. I didn't talk to him at home much... We mostly talked on our missions, but our assassin escapades were the only hours we spent together. I thought I was being fair, you know? I gave him space. I respected that he needed it.

But that was the thing. He didn't.

I returned home around one in the morning. I went alone this time, I figured I'd leave the drunk behind, knowing he wasn't in any condition to go out and eliminate our target. Who by the way was long gone... I won't lie, it was quite the effort. In fact I broke my collarbone and a few ribs in the process. Which is why he gave me that look when I stumbled through the door.

"What happened to you?" He said, sounding surprisingly sober.

"Aren't you supposed to be drunk..." I whispered angrily, just loud enough for him to hear.

"Aren't you supposed to be in bed?" He said standing up, somehow not falling. Maybe he wasn't drunk after all... That's a shocker. I chuckled at his childish joke.