Troubled Thoughts

six

Patrick

Pete sat opposite Patrick on the kitchen counter, with a cup of coffee in his hands. His hair was messy and still a bit wet from a shower. He was wearing one of Patrick's favourite hoodies, which he liked even more, now that it was wrapped around Pete.

Pete seemed to notice that Patrick was looking at him because he was shifting a little now.

"I... I hope you don't mind that I'm wearing your clothes..." he looked down at the black hoodie and back up at Patrick.

"No, it's fine." the doctor smiled. "It looks good on you."

Pete blushed a little and took a sip from his coffee to hide it.

"How do you feel?" Patrick asked and put his own mug down on the counter, next to Pete's legs and leaned back against the fridge.

"Better!" Pete nodded over the awkwardness of this situation. He put his own mug down as well "Thanks for the breakfast by the way."

"Nevermind. I wasn't sure if you would eat much though." Patrick smiled. "You were pretty... drunk last night."

"Oh my god, yeah! I'm sorry!" Pete blushed even more. "I hope I didn't do anything awkward... or inappropriate." Pete looked a bit worried as he fumbled with the sleeves of the hoodie, in order to cover his hands with them.

"Don't worry, you behaved." Patrick thought back to last night and how tempting Pete was. How close Patrick was to kissing the other man. He didn't say that out loud of course.

"You just wanted to cuddle a bit." Patrick finally added and forced himself to stop thinking about last night, in order to not let anything about his own intentions that night slip.

"Oh god..!" Pete exhaled and buried his head in his hands to cover his face.

Patrick could hear hear him exhale loudly before Pete dropped his hands back into his lap and lifted his head again. He was bright red.

"I'm sorry, Patrick... I didn't wanna bother you... you should've just sent me home again."

"No!" Patrick said immediately and determinate. Maybe a bit too determinate, because Pete jumped a little at that. "No..." Patrick repeated more carefully. "I liked it." Now it was Patrick's turn to blush terribly. "I mean... I liked knowing that you were save. That you were alright or at least... alive. I didn't have to worry about you for once." Patrick could feel the sweat on his hands, he tried not to say something wrong.

"You... worried about me?" Pete asked in complete disbelief.

That wasn't really a reaction Patrick expected. Pete sounded so touched. So confused. Somehow shocked about the fact that somebody actually worried about him. It nearly ripped Patrick's heart apart. Pete felt worthless. But he wasn't. Pete felt unimportant. But he wasn't. Not to Patrick. Pete needed to know that.

"Of course I did." Patrick focused on his half-empty cup next to Pete. "I worried every day." He tried to hide his blushed cheeks and he tried to avoid the insecure look in Pete's eyes that didn't really fit him. Patrick turned away from Pete. He didn't know why, but he was about to cry. He was staring at the sink and hold his breath.

Don't cry, Patrick. Don't burst into tears. Not now. Not in front of Pete.

Maybe it was the relief to know that Pete's alive that drove the tears in his eyes. Maybe it was the look on Pete's face when he realised that someone actually cared about him and the knowledge that a life full of disappointment is needed in order to create that kind of expression. Maybe it was something else. Whatever it was, Patrick did his best to fight it down again. He kept concentrating on the sink, not allowing the tears to build in his eyes any further, when he suddenly noticed that Pete was standing next to him now. Their arms were slightly touching.