You'll never have me

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

The dark clouds were covering the city like a blanket. The rain kept pouring and so did my tears. I wiped them away with my jacket sleeve. I didn't know if it was the rain or my tears that were still wetting my cheeks.
I looked to the entrance of the hospital to see if anyone was coming after me, but there was no one there.
Didn't my dad care at all that my mother hurt me again? All I wanted for her was to get better. I just wanted what was best for her. What was so wrong about that?
My hair was plastered to my face and the cutting wind made me shiver. Endless seconds I stared in front of me. Gazing in to the dark cold night that was getting closer by the minute. Feeling cold and loney like a stray cat without any shelter.

Now more than anything I longed to Max and I wanted his arms wrapped around me tightly. Feeling his chest rise up and down softly while stroking my hair until I would fall asleep. I took my phone out and stared at his number for a few minutes, contemplating wether I would call him or not.
Thinking about the lipstick smear and him visiting Claire made me change my mind and I put my phone back into my jacket pocket while strolling to my car.

Like a robot I entered my home and walked up to my bedroom. I exchanged my wet clothes for my PJ's. I pulled back my sheets and crawled into my bed. I curled myself into a little ball ,just lying there, watching the rain drops shatter on my window.
Negative thoughts took a comfort seat in my mind and dark feelings were catching up to me again. My mind was playing tricks on me and even though I knew it, I allowed these thoughts to hurt me.

"Mom doesn't love me. She never wanted me. Max doesn't want me. He wants Claire. She is way prettier than me. She comes from a better family. He's just playing games with me."
I thought about the lipstick stain which made me even more upset.

I started to cry uncontrollably until I was at the point I was too tired to cry and finally fell asleep.

Feeling like a total zombie I put on the coffee machine at work and followed my routine as I do every morning. I don't know how I got through that day, but I did.
With all my heart I wanted to go visit my mother but I knew it would only upset me. She would still be mad and there would be no way to communicate normally with her.
I wasn't feeling like going home yet either so I just walked around town for a while.

The trees were shaking of their leaves, while the wind was letting them fly a little bit before they would land on the cold concrete. The leaves were covering the town's roads with their yellow,brownish and red colors. Letting us know that winter was now nearby. The trees that were already bald, were looking sad amongst the ones that still had their leaves with them. It made my heart sad that this was a sign for the days getting shorter and the nights getting longer. This was my least favorite season.
Although I loved to capture the beautiful colors that fall had to offer, I hated the darkness it brought along. It would only reinforce my already depressed nature.
I watched the clouds packing together, depriving the sun, letting her know that it was their time to shine. Thick raindrops were coming down, telling me that it was time to either go home or find shelter somewhere.
My stomach was growling a bit so I decided to get some food. I walked back to the city centre and looked for a nice quiet place to sit down.
"Mira?"
I turned around.
"Max?"
He adjusted his long black coat which matched perfectly with his grey suit.
Okay, so this is awkward.
He stepped a little closer and caressed my cheek with his hand, his blue eyes penetrating mine. The wind was playing with my hair, making it dance around.
The smell of his cologne made my knees weaken and my heartbeat was rising with every second he looked at me.
Softly he put a lose strand of hair behind my ear, still not taking his eyes off me. He bended his head closer to mine.
"I miss you", his deep voice whispered.
I closed my eyes and heaved a deep sigh.
"I miss you too", I whispered back.
His hands cupped my face and his forehead touched mine.
"Come home with me", he said.
He closed his eyes and placed a soft kiss on my forehead.
I stayed silent, ignoring what he said.
Closing my eyes I just stood there, his hands still cupping my face.
As we were so caught up with each other, we didn't even notice the rain that came down heavily.
It felt like there was no one else in this world but us.