Demons ; Michael Clifford

Chapter 12

**Michael ' s pov**

We're grocery shopping and it's a struggle. The alcohol lanes are calling my name and I have to swerve past them trying to ignore the fact that they're there.

I feel Katie's hand on my arm sympathetically, "You sure you're okay?" She asks giving me a slight smile I nodd and shrug her hand off as subtly as I can and continue to push the trolley down the lane.

Katie kept putting things in the trolley and I could see her lips moving but I couldn't hear her speak., my mind was too focused on alcohol and how it's been a whole week since I've had any. I'm craving it, every ounce of my body wants some even if it's only a drop, I want it, I need it.

My hands start to shake. My lips have gone dry and I can see the bottles of vodka, whiskey, beer. It's all there and it's so easy to grab, I just need to get away from Katie long enough to grab a bottle.

"I'm going to go to the toilet babe. I'll catch up with you in a few minutes." She smiles and takes the trolley away from me to continue the shopping. I walk towards the bathrooms until she walks around the corner. Once she's gone I walk into the lane with all the alcohol.

I take it my surrounding and take a deep breath. I grab a bottle of vodka and a few beers and make my way to the checkouts. I start to panic realising that Katie could walk around the corner and see me any second now. I pay for the bottles and run out to the car hiding them in the back.

I go back into the shop hunting for Katie, hoping that she didn't see me leave. I finally find her and wrap my arms around her waist, making her jump a little.

"You seem happier now." She states, questioning my sudden change in attitude. I kiss her cheek not replying to what she had just said.

Once we're back home I wait until we have taken all of the shopping out of the car and Katie to be in the shower until I take in the bottles. I hesitate thinking of where I could hid them and then I got the bright idea which was just to drink them all right there and then. So I did.

I sat at the kitchen table and open the beer bottles, drinking them down the way you would a glass of water. The beer is done and I move onto the vodka. I break the cap off and press the bottle to my lips taking a breath and pouring the contents of the bottle in my mouth pausing every so often to take another breath. I closed my eyes trying to finish the last of the bottle.

"MICHAEL... WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Katie runs out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her and knocks the bottle out of my hand and I watch it smash on the ground. I sit there frozen, regretting everything I'd just done. I look at her with the most apologetic look I could conjure up but it still wasn't working.

There was tears in her eyes and they were about to drop any minute now but instead of letting them drop, she grabs me by the arm and pulls me up out of the chair I was sat in.

"Get out." She said calmly. "Get out of my house and don't bother coming back until you don't crave a drink anymore."

My mouth drops open. "W-What do you mean get out?" I question her, knowing fine what she meant but I didn't want to come to terms with it.

"Get the fuck out of my house Michael. I'm done with this. You're pathetic. I'm done wasting my time on you when you don't even want to get better. Leave me alone Michael." She turns her back to me, waiting for me to go but I can't.

I placed my hand on her are. "Katie." I whispered hoping she'd turn back around and forgive me but she didn't budge. "Where am I meant to go. No one wants me. Please babe, please just let me stay I promise that's the last time I'll ever have a drink. I won't touch it again. Please just give me another chance, I can change."

She turned around slowly, shutting her eyes and a few tears fell as she done so. She took a deep breath, looked at me and started to speak.

"Are you surprised no one wants you? You drove your band to breaking point, your mother threw you out. Michael I've dedicated the past year to helping you get better. I left collage to make sure that you were doing alright but you haven't shown any gratitude for that and I'm tired of this crap. I'm tired of you not caring about hurting me Michael so until you get your act together I want nothing to do with you. So now that I've told you, can you get out of my house. Pack a bag and get out."

I didn't know what to say or if I should say anything at all but everything she had just said hit me like a tone of bricks. I turn away from her and walk to the room that we've shared for so long. I threw a what I thought necessary into a bag and walked back to where I had left Katie. She was still stood there, she hadn't moved and inch.

"Please, just think about this Katie. I love you."

"If you love me, you'll leave. Goodbye Michael."

She walked over to the front door, opened it and waited for me to walk out.

"Please" I said whilst outside the house but she slammed the door in my face and with that  I was homeless, alone and helpless.