Stevie woke up uncharacteristically early, too early, the following morning. Chad was sound asleep, as she studied him, his features, thinking how handsome he was and just how much he wanted to spend the night with her. It did make her feel great about herself, the sex was fantastic too, she thought, grazing a nail down his upper arm.
Yet, something didn't feel right. Despite how much they had in common they were so unalike; she was a lot older, which was her biggest worry, they were also from two completely different walks of life. What would my friends, my famous musicians, actors friends think if Chad walked me down the red carpet? She didn't want to think of herself as that shallow, but a tiny bit about his occupation still bothered her. But why? He's perfect really. I can't be picky... What am I even thinking, I wouldn't want anyone else now!
With a heavy sigh, Stevie freed herself from Chad's grasp, successful at not waking him up. She needed a little space, to be by herself. The first thing that would be easiest to cover herself up with was Chad's shirt from the night before, which Stevie put on, it fully covering her behind, as she inhaled - his scent making her dizzy, but in a good way. She tiptoed out onto the balcony and took a deep breath of fresh air, cool wind blowing her hair, as the ocean before her eyes relaxed her immediately.
She wasn't as successful as she thought, feeling Chad enveloping her from the back. "You were it well."
She placed her hands over his, smiling a little, as he pressed a kiss to her temple. "Sorry I wake you."
"Don't be, this is nice." He said, referring to watching the sunrise with her. "But it's before seven. How are you up?"
"Couldn't sleep." Stevie tried to get away without making it too obvious.
Chad frowned, following her back into the bedroom, watching as she got into bed again. "Clearly, something's wrong."
"It's not... wrong."
"Then what is it?" She kept quiet, because the last thing she wanted was to hurt his feelings. "Please, talk to me?"
"I've been thinking about last night, about us."
"Me too, I'd like to know what it meant for us."
"That's the thing, Chad... I'm not sure if it can mean anything for us."
"Oh wow." He swallowed uneasily, having to sit down. "And here I was thinking how absolutely perfect it all felt."
"It did, I loved every second of our night together, but... I couldn't stop myself from wondering if we could be, you know... together. A couple. We're so different. I'm used to seeing the same people as myself, you know, from the industry and you..."
"I'm what? I'm middle class? Are you saying you couldn't be with me because you're ashamed I'm just an ordinary worker?"
"No! No, no no!" She shook her head, having known this was exactly how this conversation was going to go. "I'm not ashamed, I'm just... I don't know. I don't even know what to tell you."
He didn't reply for a minute, before he looked at her and she was sure what she saw in his eyes was hurt. "I told you right from the start. There was only one woman I loved and when I lost her, I promised myself not to ever open my heart again for anyone. You showed your care for me, your interest in me, you spent time with me, truthfully speaking, seduced me and after we finally slept together, all of a sudden you don't want me anymore?"
"I didn't seduce you on purpose, all I did or said was genuine. And I do still want you, Chad. I'm simply afraid it wouldn't work out for us, because I know that as soon as the media finds out about our relationship, we'll be under a magnifying glass and I know how cruel people can be. I know they'd say you're in it for the money, I know they would say that I'm just parading you around, I know they would find a way to bring Lindsey into this as well... I just know it wouldn't be pretty and I don't want you to get hurt even more."
"I couldn't care less." He shrugged, saying honestly. "I wouldn't be with those people, I would be with you, therefore your opinion is the only one that matters to me." He saw her eyes full of tears, as he exhaled deeply. "Stevie, if all that you wanted was to get me into your bed for fun, then I suggest we say goodbye and never see each other again, because really I can't do it otherwise. I don't need meaningless flings. I'm too old for that. I'm a father to a four year old girl, I need a woman who would be my partner and a good example to my daughter too. I can't play games, I don't want to. I'd like it if you didn't drag this out with maybe or we shall wait and see. No, tell me now."
She took a moment to process everything he just said, as she reached for his hand, clutching it in between her both. "I think I'm in love with you."
"Come again?"
She chuckled softly, getting onto her knees and closer to him. "I said, I think I'm in love with you and this is the last thing from a fling. But I'm afraid, I'm so afraid... Every relationship that seemed perfect at the beginning went to hell all too quickly. I don't want that to happen to us, that's why I'm unconsciously already sabotaging it. I do that, all the time, when things seem great, I do something stupid to ruin it, simply because I'm so sure that's how it will end anyway."
He put his arm around her back and made her sit on his lap, kissing her lips before saying anything further. "It doesn't have to be like that. You know, for someone who's so unafraid, you have a lot of fears."
"I just like to think I'm fearless..."
"Do you mean what you said?" She nodded, becoming shy; never had she been the first one to say it to any man. "Then that's all I need to know to go on with whatever this is between us. You can't just presume we'll have the same ending. Relationships require a lot of hard work, but I'm willing to do it. You're... you're rare, you're truly one in a million and I can't be that stupid and let you go like this, because you're afraid. I'm too in a way, but I feel like it's worth it, that you and I are worth it."
"Okay." She gave a small nod of her head. "Let's see where this goes."
"Yeah?"
"Yes." She smiled, placing her hands on his face, bringing him in for a kiss. "My God that was heavy pillow talk."
He laughed with her, nodding. "I actually got a little hungry."
"Then I'll be on my way to make you breakfast." She got up on her feet, still wearing his shirt, as she stopped, when he called after her.
"Stevie?"
"What?"
"I think I love you, too."
