Healing These Scars

Goodbye

As soon as the bell rung, signaling school was over, I sprinted out of there and back to the orphanage. Even though I was supposed to go pick up the kids, they were fine in the others' hands. I just had to beat Dani and Charlie back to make sure I had time to get their surprise. 

I snuck in the door, hoping Ms. Schmitt wouldn't notice me, because I wasn't supposed to be here yet. I opened our bedroom door once more, to see the My Chemical Romance poster that we bonded over still up in our room. I smiled and tears came to my eyes. I walked over to the dresser where I had hidden the wine, and took out the last bottle. I hid that one in her suitcase, hoping no one would find it. I also packed the necklace my dad had given me. She always had taken a liking to it, and she deserved it. It probably will be the last thing we cherish together. 

Charlie never noticed me slip a bottle of wine into his bag; I knew he would just give it to Dani, but it was the thought that counts. I put a letter to both of them in their bags, and hugged them both goodbye. "Dani, I promise I will stick up for myself. Thank you for everything," I told them both. "Since I am bad with goodbyes, I refuse to let this be one," they smiled at my reference. "I love you both. Keep in touch guys. I will see you again someday."

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It was really lonely after Dani and Charlie left. School was boring, the orphanage was boring, life was terrible. I kept getting picked on, more now that they had left. Emily would make a bigger deal about the way I dress, even though I don't wear all black, or THAT much eyeliner. "Leave me alone Emily," I told her, putting my headphones in and blocking her out. She came from behind me and ripped out my right earbud. 

"Aw, is the little emo lonely now? I thought you were lonely before, but now it isn't just at school, but now it's at the orphanage too. I mean, you don't have a roommate now. How sad," she put on a fake sad face in front of me. I jerked my earbud out of her hand and walked faster as I placed it back in my ear. 

I locked the door to my room and laid on my bed. The day was exhausting, full of drama. I just need a break. I got up to turn on the radio, and realized it was gone. Dani had taken it with her, because it was hers, along with all of the CDs. My heart sunk deep in my chest, and I cried to myself silently. 

A little later there was a knocking on the door. I got up and told them I was coming to the door. I prayed silently that it wasn't Emily at the door. "Oh, Ms. Schmitt, I'm sorry, I was taking a nap," I explained with a lame excuse. 

"You didn't come down for dinner, so I was wondering what was going on."

"Oh, yeah, I fell asleep, like I said. I'm okay, don't worry about it."

"Okay," she sighed. "I know your two friends left, and I feel terrible that it ended up being those two that left, but that's the way it is, I guess."            

I nodded, and thanked her for checking on me. "Oh, have you had any interest in someone adopting lately?" I asked hopefully. "Seven years is a long time to be in an orphanage. However, I'm aware that it isn't the longest time someone has been here, but-"                                       

Ms. Schmitt cut me off. "Not today, but I'll look harder for you."

"Okay, thanks again Mrs. Schmitt."

That night I contemplated trying to sleep. I knew that if I somehow did fall asleep, I probably would have nightmares again, but if I didn't, I would fall asleep in class again. Eventually I bored myself to sleep with my endless thoughts.