When I saw him it was like all the old feelings I used to have for the blonde boy standing in front of me rushed back. His blue eyes made my heart melt but before I could do anything stupid I looked away, sporting a frown on my face. I felt Grace's hand on my back as we walked up the stairs of the once familiar house.
We walked into her old room which was completely different from when I last saw it. All the band posters of Green Day were replaced except for two. It was weird seeing her walls like that, the room looked naked.
"You okay?" Grace asked with concern in her voice. I bit my lip and sighed, flopping onto her bed.
"How's things with Ash?" I asked randomly after a while of the two of us just sitting in silence. My eyes flickered to Grace seeing that she looked sad.
"We, um, we broke up. He started to like this other girl while we were dating." I frowned, pursing my lips.
"I'm sorry Grace." I mumbled, looking back up at the ceiling.
"It's fine. Have you had any luck with boys?" She asked, lying down beside me.
"Yeah, we broke up a couple of weeks before I left though. He didn't want to have the long distance problems."
"Okay, we can't be all mopey! I got my best friend back! Let's do something else beside talking about our bad luck with boys." I tapped my chin then giggled slightly.
"Let's just watch some movies. I'm still pretty jet lagged." I muttered, burying my face into one of her pillows after feeling a sudden wave of exhaustion hit me.
****
I couldn't sleep. I knew that this would be a problem considering I've been in a different time zone for so long. I went downstairs, hoping not to wake anyone woke up.
I glanced outside seeing Luke and it felt like my legs had more control than my brain because soon I was outside and sitting next to him.
I looked at the stars, something that wasn't seen very often in New York City with all the lights illuminating the sky. I could feel Luke's eyes on me but I chose to ignore them, even if they did give me butterflies in my stomach.
"Rose-" I put my hand up, not really wanting to talk to him.
"Don't even talk to me Luke."
"I'm sorry." He mumbled, looking at his feet. My stomach twisted but I almost slapped myself in the face for feeling bad for him.
"That's not going to fix anything Luke! You cheated on me, with someone I hated might I add." I snapped, gritting my teeth. I had no idea where my confidence came from but I was liking it.
"I know sorry doesn't change anything Rose. But you have no idea how much I've missed you these last four years. So much has fucking happened and if you think for one second that my feelings for you have changed then you've lost your mind." I tensed, biting my lip. I sucked in a breath to try to keep my tears in but I knew it wouldn't happen, Luke couldn't see me cry.
Before he could get another word out I took off, running down the street of my old neighborhood. I tried to keep my sobs in but failed.
I didn't stop running until I reached the cemetery. My mum. When I reached her grave I noticed the roses, fresh as if they were put out today. My breathing hitched and more tears rolled down my face.
He kept his promise.
"Who's going to put the roses out while I'm gone?! I-I, Luke her grave has to have flowers."
"Calm down babe, I promise I'll keep putting roses at her grave. Don't worry."
I felt my knees buckle and I pressed my back against my mum's grave, sliding down. I buried my head in my knees when I realized he really did still love me.
And I still loved him.
***
When I walked into the Hemmings's house a couple hours later, I knew I looked like death. Everyone was still asleep except for one person.
His blue eyes met mine and he ran into me, wrapping his arms around my frame. I smiled sadly, snuggling into his arms when I realized how warm he was. He wrapped a blanket around my shoulders and gave me a look.
"Damn Rose, you're freezing." He rubbed my arms. I shrugged, not wanting to really talk. His eyes softened before he walked back upstairs and left me by myself. I bit my lip, hiding my disappointment. I wanted him downstairs with me, despite what anyone, even myself, thought.
I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding when he disappeared out of my sight. I can't fall for him again. I couldn't go through all that heartbreak again.
"Rose?" Ashton's groggy voice pulled me back to reality. I blinked a couple times before meeting his eyes.
"Oh, hey Ash." I half-smiled at the curly haired boy. He rubbed his eyes and returned my smile before sitting down on the couch beside me.
I snuggled into the thin blanket Luke gave me as Ashton and I sat in silence. It took everything in me not to ask him about the girl he was dating instead of Grace.
"Did you know that Cal has a girlfriend now?" He asked out of the blue. I squealed silently, hopping up and down. Ashton giggled at my reaction and nodded.
"Her name is Maddie, she's pretty cool." His simple description of the girl still made me feel happy for Calum.
"I need to meet this girl." I stated causing Ashton to giggle once more. I missed all the boys and I feel like I forgot about everyone.
"What about Michael? I know him and Marlee broke up when she moved to London." Ashton smiled again and I was beginning to think that he never stopped smiling.
Marlee moved to London with her family a year after I moved to America. Grace skyped me that night in tears, her and Marlee have been friends since elementary school. I felt bad for Grace that night four years ago, she was alone without her best friends.
"Well there is this girl he's talking to, her name is Anna. She's from America as well, Oklahoma. Her and Maddie are best friends."
I fiddled with my fingers when I felt my stomach twist. I've heard Luke had a girlfriend but I had no idea who the girl was. All I knew was she was extremely pretty, way prettier than me.
"What about, um-"
"Luke?" Ashton questioned, looking into my eyes. I nodded, biting my bottom lip. "Well, he is dating this girl named Blaire and if you ask me she's a gold digging slut." I laughed, slapping his arm, but silently thanked God that she wasn't someone who was extremely nice and that everyone loved. Because, let's be honest here, if Ashton Irwin doesn't like you, nobody probably does.
"Well, what about you?" I asked cautiously. He gulped, avoiding my eyes.
"Yeah, well I like this girl named Bradlie. She is amazing." He said happily. I smiled, even though the girl he likes wasn't my best friend.
"I bet she's amazing." I stated, my voice soft. His cheeks turned pink and he nodded. I loved it when Ashton and I talked like this, it's been a while.
"She is. She's so beautiful, and nice. I can't believe that she likes me, out of anybody in the world." I giggled, clapping a hand on his shoulder making him turn to me.
"You are Ashton Irwin, I'm sure anyone would be lucky to have you." He blushed again, a ghost of a smile making its way back to his face.
"Thanks Rose."
"No problem."
