Fine Lines and Second Chances (a Niall Horan fan-fic)

Chapter 19 - Walks

*Atari's POV*

I woke up next to Niall. He had his arms around my waist and his blonde hair was messed up and the brown roots were showing and his face was so calm and I think I am kinda falling for this blue eyed beauty. I slowly maneuvered out of his grip without waking him up. I went to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I wanted to cry. I was bald and my eyes were dull. My skin was peeling and I looked like a skeleton with skin stretched over it. I was horrid looking. I couldn't control my anger and I punched the glass that showed me the awful truth. I had the door shut and locked so Niall kinda just ran into it when he tried to enter. He was yelling and pounding the door but I ignored him and got in the shower. I took 3 hours and mainly just stood under the water. I got out and brushed my teeth and put on a black and white Shinedown t-shirt and some black skinny jeans with gray hightop Converse and a black jacket and a grey beanie. I slowly unlocked the door and walked out. My knuckles had stopped bleeding and the skin hadd already started to grow back. Niall wasn't in the room and so I was able to sneak out easily. I decided to take a long leasurely walk through the woods. I enjoyed the woods and always came to them to clear my head and hopefully find something to keep me alive. Something about the calmness of the woods just seems to ease the pain. Sometimes I hear voices that call my name and tell me that everything is ok and will be ok. I just wish that they were the voices of my dad and twin. Sometimes I hear too many though and start to feel the insanity creeping up inside and making my vision red and blurry and my thoughts are just of feeling the knife go through someone's skin and and their blood spray on my face and hear the screams. I enjoy the thoughts too and it scares me because I dont want to hurt anyone close to me. Anyways the solitude also helps me to just keep calm and refresh myself. I walked for about ten minutes and foiund a small stream and sat down on a rock at it's edge and stared at the fish swimming by. I hear all the sounds that make up the forest and I just feel at home. I feel my pulse slow and my body relaxes and my breathing also slows. I lay back on the cool damp grass and stare at the deep blue sky and the tops of the trees and the light shining through the leaves. I sit back up at the sound of foot steps. I quickly hide behind a tree and try to see if anyone was where the sound came from. All I saw was the scenery. I didn't hear anything else so I slowly come out from behind the tree. I walk a couple steps and I hear breathing just behind me. I put my hand on my knife that I always carry and turned around to be faced by a familiar face. It was a face that i hadn't seen since I was 10. Everything about him was the same except the meth written into his features. I remembered everything that he had done and why I hadn't been able to visit him. My brother never had been on the right track, but I loved him anyways. He looked shocked to see someone but then a look of recognition crossed his pitted face.

"AtariLynn? Is..is that you sis? What..how..is...?" he stuttered but couldn't finish his thoughts.

"Yes, Daniel, it's me. i'm surprised to see you. How have you been? It's been too long!" I said as I ran into his arms. I had missed my brother soo much and honestly thought he was dead.

"I've been better but you don't know how happy I am to see you. I've missed you so much. I didn't know what happened to you after they took me away. I love you Atari soooooo much! I was supposed to protect you and I couldn't and I thought that you had died from Heather beating you. I did this to myself to try and forget how bad I messed up and oh my gosh Atari I love you and there is no way I'm letting you go now and ohh I'm so happy to see you I love you I love you I love you!!" he choked out while squeezing my very tightly as if I was going to just evaporate into the air. We were both crying and hugging and I didn't want to ever let go.

"I'm not going anywhere Daniel! I love you too soooo much, more than you know and I thought that you had died and I cried so long and felt so alone and mom didn't make it long enough to kill me, but sometimes I wished she would have. Oh gosh I'm so happy to know that you're ok and it wasn't your job to protect me and I'm ok. I love you Daniel I love you!!!" I cried out.

"Do you have a place to stay?" he asked me pulling away and looking into my eyes intently.

"Yes but...." I trailed on not really wanting to tell him.

"But what?" he asked concern filling him.

"But it's at a building just ten minutes from here and well....they treat my cancer and keep my insanity in check," I said sighing at my patheticness.

"Oh. My. Gosh." he said not being able to say anything else.

"Can you walk me back please. It's getting late and they will lock the doors soon. Please???" I begged him not wanting him to leave me, ever.

"Yes. Yes I will stay with you for as long as you want me to. I won't leave you again. I promise. I love you Atari and I am not going to hurt you," he said lovingly.

"Thanks bro," I said and we walked back to the hospital.

~~~~~~at the hospital in Atari's and Jade's room~~~~~

I walked Daniel into my room and sat with him on my bed. I hugged him tihgtly just overly happy to see my older brother again. He hugged me back but we were interupted by Jade and Niall entering our room panicking that I had escaped again and Niall kept saying it was his fault. Me and Daniel just sat there watching them, going unnoticed. I found it hard to keep in my laughter and Daniel was just weirded out.

"Hay guys!" I said nonchalantly.

"AHHH WHAT THE?!?!?!?!??" the both screamed at first from me scaring the shit out of them and then in anger. Daniel wrapped his arms protectively around my shoulders.

"What? I went out for a walk and I found Daniel and there was no way in Earth or Hell that I was leaving him alone." I said as if the should have known.

"Who is he to you?" Niall asked, jealousy saturating his voice.

"Why? Are you jealous?" I asked teasingly. Jade laughed and then quickly composed herself.

"N.nn...no," he stuttered out. I scooted closer to Daniel and wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my head on his shoulder.

"Good. Daniel is.." I was cut off by Daniel speaking up.

"I am a long lost friend of her's and haven't seen her in who knows how many years. I honestly didn't think she would want anything to do with me after everyhting that had happened and I'm sure all of you can tell that I use meth. I was just really happy to see her again. I wasn't letting her walk alone though," he said. My heart broke. I thought he would have at least told them that he was my brother but he didn't and I felt like crying. I got up and went to the bathroom and locked the door. I slid down it and started to cry. I couldn't take it. My brother rejected me and that hurt  worse than anything. I wanted to die.

"Aly?!?!?" Are you okay? What's wrong?" I heard Niall call from the otherside of the door.

"My name is not Aly and don't EVER call me that again!! Jade please fill him in. Daniel what did I do for you to reject me as your sister?!?!?!? I'm sorry for whatever I did. But please tell me what I did!" I cried. I couldn't take any of this anymore.

"Atari, I didn't reject you I just thought that you didn't want people knowing that I was your brother." he said in a calming voice. I opened the door.

"You idiot. The meth really has gone to your brain hasn't it? I would NEVER disown you like...." I couldn't finish the sentence. He came over to me and hugged me tightly.

"Hay hay shhhhhh its ok. Don't think of them its ok. I am here and I love you and that's all that matters." he soothed. I was exhausted and fell asleep in Daniel's rocking arms. I was tired of all this drama and the onl escape was sleep so I took it and was plunged into a dreamless world of oblivion.

A/N: sorry for the long wait. I haven't really known what to write so I hope this is ok. please comment and rant and rave and do whatever you lovely readers do thanks and i luff you guys muchly! baiii