Fine Lines and Second Chances (a Niall Horan fan-fic)

Chapter 21 - Confessions

*AtariLynn's POV*

I stared at the ceiling and tried tuning the lecturing guys out but was failing miserably. I couldn't stop thinking about how to tell Daniel. I didn't want to think about everything again. I looked to Niall, he was hotter when he was mad. I wish he liked me. I mean I tried so many times to get him to sleep with me but he wouldn't and honestly, it pissed me off. I wanted to know what was so wrong with me...oh wait, I know. I'm a hideous cnacer patient that could die any second. I wish that Niall would love but he never will. I decided to give up on the fantasy of "us". I started to listen to them lecturing us about respect and how pranks are mean and blah blah blah. When they were finished, I just sat and looked into Niall's beautiful blue eyes and got lost in them. There was no way that somene could control you with their eyes, right? Because if it's possible, then I might be in trouble. Niall came and sat on my bed and looked into my eyes. I felt like he wanted to say something but he didn't. He just held my hand for a few seconds and then left the room. I was crushed. I actually thought he was going to say it, but I guess I'm just that niave.

"Daniel?" I asked, wanting o get this over with.

"Yes?" he said still a little perturbed.

"I wanted to tell you everything that had happened since you left," I say, reverting back to my old self. Emotionless.

"Ok, but you don-" he began before I cut him off.

"I kno wbut I am so shush it and listen," I say with a straight face and no emotion.

"Go ahead then," he said, slightly interested. Jade got up and walked out the door, giving us some privacy.

"When the police took you away, I was the only one who cared. Our parents wouldn't let us see you because they said you were a bad influence and that you were a disgrace. I couldn't believe them. I started to detach myself from them at that time. Dad was hurt and mom was angry about me slowly slipping away. She said that I was following in your footsteps and that I would end up in jail, too. Dad said that I was just sad and that I would come back around to my old self. He protected me and the others like he always did. I sat alone in my room most of the time. I didn't play anymore and I barely ate. Mom gave up on me and Dad was trying to help me. I was so depressed that after a while...I started to think things. Thoughts of blood and death soon devoured my life and time. I started listening to your music and I often stayed in your room. One day, Daddy decided that Aly,James, and him should go for a ride while Mom and I had some mother-daughter bonding time ... I told them all that I loved them before they left. I sat in the living room with  mom and we watched a movie. About an hour after they had left, the phone rang. Mom answered and dropped it. I had heard exactly what the person on the other end said. 'I'm sorry ma'am but your husband and two children have been in an accident and they all died on site. I'm truly sorry ma'am'. I'll never forget that moment because that's when both her and I changed. I became and emotionless corpse that layed in a room for months on end without eating, drinking, doing anything. I stopped calling mom 'mom and started calling her Heather. She became and abusive drunk. I was her slave for who knows how many years. I stopped going to school and and lost everyone. I began cutting shortly after dad died. I cut every day and the worse that the emotional pain got, the worse I made the physical pain. I cut really deep and a cut alot. The blood running down my skin was the only feeling that I had and I loved it! I was addicted to it. My body began to numb itslef after about 6 months of me cutting. I stopped feeling as much pain so, I decide to piss Heather off and get a beating just to feel the pain. It worked most of the time and evvery beating got worse and worse. One day the police showed up and took me to the hospital. They gave me some stitches and sent me home. They said that a neighboor and called and told them about my situation. My body was one bruise and I had countless cuts and scratches everywhere. I had a couple broke bones and one of my eyes were swolen shut. After they left, I ripped out the stitches. Heather was mad because the cops had seen what she had done and gave me one of my worst beatings yet. I never cried....or showed any emotion for that matter. This went on for.. I forget how many years but then one evening, Heather was super drunk and went out for one of her weekly slutty weekends and she had a wreck and was killed. I hated her yes but the son of a bitch that drove into mom's car has ruined my life...and Jade's for that matter." I told him the rest of the story and sat there feeling as if I was asleep. I saw daniel talking to me but I didn't hear a word he said. I remember falling off of the bed but I felt nothing. I saw a few faces but then everything faded into darkness. I honestly didn't want to wake up. I was tired of life and all the drama that was constantly thrown at me. I was tired of blacking out an dwaking up full of wires and tubes. I was just tired. I was done. I decided to give up on everything in hopes that I would just leave this world of havoc. At least Ddaniel would know what had happened to our once perfect family and that he wasn't responsible for anything that had occured. I was sorta at peace, but I still was missing one thing. Niall. All I was missing was his love.