Wolfstar

Stitch Me Up

A//N

As requested by PotterFanRosalinda, here's another self harm fic. There will be TRIGGER WARNINGS, Moon Moon being really depressed and a fluffy, angsty, beautiful ending. Please enjoy! (Oh, yeah, there is a weird little tense change after the time skip.)

A//N

Remus stared long and hard into the water-spotted bathroom mirror. His own pale amber eyes stared back, boring into the very recesses of his mind.

His eyes swam sunkenly in dark, bruised shadows and deep hollows of his eye sockets

 He could see himself drowning inside of them. Drowning in pools of dying candlelight. Flickering weakly in the void.

His skin was pale and waxy, no colour. Just white and mottled shades of bruise and depression. He could have been a ghost, if not for the crimson blood dripping from his wrists. It fell, splashing wetly on the murky tiles like deep, claret coloured ink.

This deathly ink stained his white t-shirt.

Drip. Drop. 

Drip. Drop.

His ribs were visible. His hips raised slashes jutting out from his skeletal frame. His shoulder blades were broken wings. He was morbidly beautiful. But he didn't see it that way.

Old, rusty scars crisscrossed his body, remnants of pain past. Not all deliberate though. Some he couldn't help but endure.

"Sectumsempra."

Slash.

Hiss.

Drip. Drop.

Drip. Drop.

His vision was fuzzy at the edges.

"Sectumsempra."

Slash.

Gasp.

Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop.

Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop.

"S-sectumsempra."

Wheeze.

Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip.

Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip.

The claret stains washed over the floor. Splashed onto the sink. Ran down his arms. Turned his shirt red.

His vision was tinged with veins of darkness as his own veins emptied onto the floor. There was too much blood, a tidal wave, too much. But not enough. Not enough for Remus. It was never enough.

He slowly but deliberately raised the wand to his throat.

"S-s-sect-"

"No."

A firm hand grasped the wand and removed it from his grip. Remus tried to put up a fight, but he was in no fit state. It clattered to the floor.

Strong arms wrapped around his skinny body from behind. He could hear soft sniffles as he began to lose consciousness.

"P-pads?" He slurred. His legs gave way beneath him and Sirius gently picked him up.

In his last few seconds of consciousness he heard sobbing and a,

"Yes, Moony, It's me, you're safe now."

A tear fell onto his forehead, running down his face, mingling with the ink. Diluting it.

Darkness.

....

Light. Too much light. It's painful.

A strange little noise of discomfort comes from Remus.

He tries to open his eyes.

He feels a hand squeeze his own, encouragingly, desperately.

He wrenches his eyes open, but his body feels like lead.

Sirius. Sirius. Sirius is here. Sirius is sitting beside Remus, holding his hand like a life line. He looks terrible, dark shadows under his eyes, his dark hair messily twisted at the back of his neck. There's a shadow of stubble on his jaw. How long has he been here?

A tear begins to wind it's way down Sirius' face, which he buries into Remus' bandaged chest.

"Remus."

"Sirius." His throat feels like sandpaper.

"How are you feeling?"

"I don't know."

At Sirius' look of confusion, he adds,

"Hollow."

Sirius bites his lip.

"Why?" He sounds desperate. Concerned.

"I'm a monster. I'm a beast. I'm not supposed to be alive, people don't want me alive, therefore, I have nothing to live for. I thought I'd save someone else the task of putting me down." Remus replies bitterly.

"Remus?" His voice is sad, yet reassuring, "We all love you. I love you. You're not the beast, Fenrir is. He's the beast, not you, he's the monster for doing this to you."

"Well. He did. End of. I feel out of place, a drifter, an outsider with nothing and no one to live for."

Remus looks up into Sirius' dark, chocolatey eyes. They look back at him - sorrowful and loving.

"What if I give you something to live for?"

His voice waivers. He looks nervous.

"What cou-?"

But Remus was cut off. Sirius answers his unspoken question.

Their lips meet and Remus freezes. Sirius wraps his arms around him, enveloping him in his warmth. Remus gets over his shock, attempting to respond. This has never happened to him before.

Sirius guides him, kissing him softly, tenderly. Remus slides his hands into Sirius' hair, never wanting to let go. He doesn't for a while. It's too right. Too perfect. And Remus is hooked.

They break apart. Remus curls into Sirius' chest despite the pain in doing so, their heartbeats drumming in time.

"Is that enough to get you to stay with me? With all of us?"

"You are my only reason to stay. You stitch me up."

"I love you," Sirius says huskily, "you don't know how long I've waited to do that."

"Really?"

"Really."

"I love you too. My saviour, my needle and thread."

A little kiss is planted on Remus' forehead as he drifts into the most peaceful sleep he's had for a long, long time.

A//N

I cry.

A//N