Crestwood north// a.i.

0.0

the pills were the easy part.

the hard part was the 15 minutes of screaming on the drive to the hospital.

all I remember is feeling light when they set me on a hard gurney.

how many dying people laid here?
how many died here?
will I die here?

I woke up in a brightly lit room.

the pain in my throat was unbearable.

an old woman sat in the corner of the room.

my parents were both sleeping.

sleeping as if nothing had happened.

I was so close.

"can I get you something?"

the lady asked.

I shook my head.

shit maybe I could kill myself by dehydration.

"I'm going to get you some water ok."

she said to herself more so than me.

I started to take in my surroundings.

yellow wallpaper with bright animals painted around it.

but the wallpaper was peeling at the edges.

and all the animals were chipped and sad looking.

the lady returned with a styrofoam cup of lukewarm tap water.

I smiled at her though the rusty taste made me grimace.

I rolled onto my other side.

not really caring if my iv stabbed my hand or the heart rate monitors were tangled up.

then I slept.

and I dreamt nothing.