-Jane-
Once I sit down at the lunch table, swarms of IG's sit next to me. I zone out... nodding and smiling. Gasping at random moments to seem like I am paying attention... Of course I am not, but still, THEY think I am... but I can't stop thinking about Laden... and that picture of me and Laden in his locker... how could I change so much?
I don't want to become a monster... had I really turned into one? How had this happened? Qhat was wrong with me? I had been such a nice person before! I had been so nice when I was little... had popularity done this to me? Had highschool done this? What could have?
I am brought back to the conversation when I get hit in the head by something. I freeze, my eyes burning. The IG's eyes widen, and the cafeteria goes silent. I slowly turn around, and I gasped.
It was Laden.
I stand up and glare at him.
"What. The. FUCK?!?!?!?!" I take a step forward, he backs up one step. "What the hell did you think you were doing?" He gives me a lopsided grin, just like he used to.
"You made me promise something once... in 5th grade." He stepped towards me, tilting his head sideways. "Do you remember that?" I think back.
"I was thinking Laden..."
"Uh oh.. nothing good comes with those words...." She laughed.
"No, its fine... I was just thinking... everything is going to be so different when we go to middleschool... different friends... different teachers... everything will change. What if we change?" Jane looked at him, her eyes filled with worry. Laden just smiled down at her.
"You won't change... Just promise me that you won't turn into one of those diva drama queens ok? If you become popular, I'll be happy for you, but only if you don't become a popular because of the wrong reasons... ok?" He moved his face so that she could see his expression. I looked away.
"Laden, you know me... You know that i despise those girls... if I ever become one by some chance... and that is a big IF ... I give you the right to smack me upside the head with your binder... don't ever let me become on of those girls... please!" He smiled knowingly.
"I half want you to become one so I can smack you." He gave me a lopesided grin. She frowned.
"Promise me Laden... Promise."
"I promise."
I nod.
"I still can't believe you actually did it though..." I said, not looking at him.
"I still can't believe you actually changed..." I laugh cruely.
"I did didn't I? Oh well Laden... things are different now." I said. "And things have changed. I am not your best friend any more Laden. Grow up and find a new one, I'm not what I used to be, and so leave me the fuck alone." My heart hurt as soon as the words left my mouth, but they didn't hurt as much as the pain I saw in Laden's eyes. He turned away.
"You really have changed Jane... but not in a good way." And he left. The rest of the school day was a blur. The IG's and jocks swarmed me, asking me what that fuck was his problem, patting my shoulder's and back, attempting to make me feel 'better'... but I said nothing... all I could think about was how I hurt him... it was like punching myself...
I pushed the IG's away.
"Shut the fuck up. All of you." I said, in a quiet yet deadly voice. They fell silent. I let my blond curls cover my face, and I looked around from behind the curtain of curls I had created. Everybody was shocked by what I had said. I had never said anything like that before to any of them, even on my worst days. I pushed my hair away and stood up straight. I sighed and looked away from all of them and out into the windows of the cafeteria.
"Sorry. I just need some time alone." I started to walk away and 15 IG's followed me. I turned around and glared. "Alone." I repeated with force. They all backed away from me. I turned to face forward again and walked away to the one place where I knew I could be myself, and no body would know.
Once I was on the roof top, I looked around, and I realized who had done this to me, who had turned my into this jerk, this.. this... this monster...
It was myself.
Once I realized this, I felt my legs go limp, and I fell to my knees on the floor of the roof. I sobbed uncontrollably, my hair whipping my face in the wind, my tears rolling down my face and into the wind. I cried for what felt like hours, I shouted at myself until I calmed down enough to turn my uncontrollable sob into silent tears. I wiped my face and took a deep breath, and I brought my compact out of my purse. (which was halfway across the roof after I threw it over there) I looked at my face which was red and puffy from crying. I took 5 minutes taking deep breaths, when my eyes went back to normal. I applied my make up, and my tears were behind me, fixed my hair, and you could never tell I cried on a roof top for an hour.
I went down to my next class, and the IG's were silent. I smiled at them, and they all smiled back, relieved that my anger was behind me. But it wasn't. My anger and tears were all still there, I just put up a block to hold me until I got home. Who knows what will happen then?
_____________________________________________________________
Heyyyyyyy peoples! I had made the beginning really quickly, and I had read over it and realized, this is crap. So i went back and edited it, and I changed a bunch of it, and I added some, and I am praying that maybe I can get it to two pages! I am really hoping this time that it is. So, who is likes who? Is there anybody out there for Jane? Or is everybody team Laden? Let me know in the comments!
YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
-Nicole-
