Lost And Found

Chapter One

Present

I never thought I could live after the horrific event that I had endured only couple years ago.  For years, I believed that suicide was the only way I could regain my happiness. Having the image of my abuser in my head kills me. His brown woodsmen hair covered his whole face and surrounded his smoky brown eyes that explained a past of abuse. Having a life like this made me sick; if he had killed me it would have just been better.

Everyday I wake up to the memory of his poisonous eyes invading my mind telling me that I am worthless and I should kill myself. Those eyes are the reason I wake up screaming out in terror during the night. That monster is the reason no one can ever come into contact with me. He made me push the world away. That man is the reason why I don’t or will even have a normal life.

Sitting in the bleachers, since my Math teacher brought the whole class to the gym, I watch the basketball team run across the court while my mind mimics their actions by running wild. Every time I try to forget my past it comes back causing me to break down in tears.

As I think about my twisted life the school bell rings causing the bleachers to be emptied in a matter of seconds. It is amazing how many students want to go to the basketball game during class, but when the bell rings school spirit is thrown out the window since they want to go home. Now I usually follow the pack of sheep and leave the gym, but today is Friday.  Unlike most students, I honestly have nothing to do except go home to be lectured by the foster care workers so I might as well stay here.

The final basket is made by the top player in our school, Darien, causing our school to win this game. The basketball team starts to freak out, as predicted, giving me a chance for a clean get-away from the gym so no one can see me.

“Serena?”

Turning quickly to the sound of a young husky voice I find Darien, the school hot shot, rushing to my side. I had never really talked to Darien before. Usually I would only spoke to him in English class, but since that was last semester I have not had a single conversation with him since. I have not spoken to him lately. It is quite strange to find him speaking to me outside of class.

Looking up at Darien, I stared into his blue eyes and with a puzzled face as I say, “Hey Darien, what’s up?”

Nervously, Darien looks around, not saying anything until I poke him in the arm to bring him back to reality. Waking up from his trance, Darien shakes his head saying, “I wanted… To ask you… About the math homework we may have gotten today.”

Laughing, since I was certain Darien was lying, I answer back slowly, “Well, nothing happened in class today because....” Sarcasm takes over as I speak at that point. “First, my math class came to the gym to watch you play. Second, you had math last semester since you complained about it all English. So to answer your question, nothing really happened in math today.”

The intensity increases in Darien’s face as I spoke so I gave him a reassuring smile. I can tell he is searching his mind for an answer, but I finally give up on waiting so I wave goodbye to him and walk away. Walking away, I started to think that it was strange how he always talks to me. I am not in the same social class as him, so why would he even bother with me? We have nothing in common.

Exiting the school, I immediately plug in my headphones into my MP3 and listen to music on my walk home. I sometimes listen to bubblegum pop music, but recently I have been more interested in bands like Twisted Sister and Queen since their music defines my current mind state. I want to break free from my past, and one day I will not take any more of this mental abuse.

After walking about three blocks I finally get to the steps of the foster care house. Rushing up about three steps, I push open the double doors that graced the front of the building. Upon entering the house I see my monstrous foster family awaiting me by the doors. Great! Here comes the lecture from dumb and dumber.