All the Wrong Reasons (Raura)

What I've Done

As I walked out of the hospital, my blood boiled. This time, he actually was dying, and unless I try my best to keep his spirits up, he may not be around for very long either.

But that's going to be hard to do since I don't really like him anymore. It's my fault that he's hurt in the first place, so I just feel the need to make sure that he's around for as long as possible. Especially since I feel so dirty about what I did to him.

I got into my car, driving to meet someone at the restaurant I work at. I know what I did to Ross was wrong, but after all, I couldn't bring myself to tell him to his face. I needed someone to make him look like the bad guy.

I park my car and walk in to see Katrina, the same assistant who Ross "cheated" on me with. I took a deep breath and went to sit down across from her. "Hey," I said, setting my purse down and taking sip of the coffee she ordered for me. "Laura, you better have the money you promised me, I didn't throw away my job for nothing," she sneered. I gulped, pulling out some bills from my purse and handed them over to her.

As she counted them, my eyes fleeted around the restaurant, nervously. Katrina shook her head. "Do you know how much he refused? How much he said, 'No, she'd never for give me' and I had to force him, he was so loyal to you, I can't imagine how awful you must feel right now," she said, standing up and grabbing her jacket. "I can't say I've heard of many people who pay someone to cheat on their boyfriend because they couldn't just end it themselves," she said. I felt like such an awful person, especially when she said that last part.

I had to do this, I couldn't get to serious with Ross, there was no way I could do that. My heart is quite damaged. See, when I was in 8th grade, I was sexually assaulted, and ever since then, I've never been able to keep a stable relationship.

I did feel differently for Ross, that I know, but there was something in my brain telling me to get out when I could.

And that's why I did it.

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"Ross, honey, we're so worried about you," my mom said, handing me a fresh bottle of water. I grabbed it and sipped some of the water. Even swallowing can hurt now, but oh well, I guess I deserve it- especially because of what I did to Laura.

I tried so hard to fight it, but Katrina wouldn't lay off of me. I tried and tried to stay loyal, but I just couldn't get her away, and before I knew it, it it was too late. "The doctors said that your operation today went well, and that they stitched up even more of the wound inside," my dad said. I nodded in understanding. I wish they would give up on me already and let me die. That's all I'm worth anyway.

"Son, I hope you get some rest, your mother and I are going to head home for the night," he said, and I tried not to show my relief. "See you," I said, gently waving my hand for them to feel enough relief to leave.

"Ross?" a voice called from the door, just as I was about to fall asleep. "In here man," I weakly said, and around the corner came Rocky, smiling that I was strong enough to talk. "Dude, this is tight. I would kill to have a bed that moves up and down," Rocky exclaimed. "It's a hospital, all of the beds do this," I bluntly replied. "And how'd you get in here?" I asked. "I told the nurse desk I was a friend of yours and for some reason they just led me here. I think it has something to do with what Laura told them when she got here yesterday," he shrugged, sitting beside my bed.

"I miss her," I sighed. I may miss her, but I'll never deserve her. "Well we all think she misses you too, she's just to stubborn to admit it," Rocky admitted. "No, there's no way. She saw me cheating on her, and that's as bad as it gets," I sighed.

Suddenly it looked like Rocky was really angry. "I forgot you cheated on Laura," he said through gritted teeth. "Dude, I swear, I never meant it. Katrina forced herself on me, I tried to resist it, I knew it was wrong! She even had to tell me to shut up! I didn't cheat to hurt her, in fact, I think I was abused! If that's what you would call it," I argued.

Rocky sat back in his chair, internalizing everything that I said. "Does Laura know this?" he asked. I shook my head. "Not a chance," I said, "She didn't want to hear what I had to say, we've never even talked about it," I sighed.

"Well, maybe now, if I tell her, everything will be okay between you guys," Rocky said joyfully. "I don't know about that, "I stammered. "Don't be so negative, I think things are going to be okay. Laura will forgive you, it's her nature," Rocky said, walking out of the room.

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"So you paid someone to make it look like Ross cheated on you?" Hannah asked, as I flinched, her glare burning through my face. "You don't understand why I did it," I confessed. "No, no Laura, I don't understand why you would throw away such an amazing guy who risked his life for you," she said, not understanding where I was coming from.

"Look, Hannah-" "Save it. Ross deserves someone who treats him with loyalty and respect, not someone who frames him to be someone he's not," Hannah dead-panned. "I was sexually assaulted. I've never been able to sustain a relationship, and I just, I had to get out before I was in too deep, you have to understand," I said, tears falling from my eyes. "Laura, you have to understand that Ross would never hurt you. You need to talk to him," she said, standing up. "I can tell that you love him, but you need to allow him to show you that he's worth everything that he is. I can also tell that he loves you, and I guarantee you that if he knows you still want him, his recovery will speed up much faster," Hannah offered, before walking away, leaving me there to think about everything that I've done.

And how I can make it right.

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hey guys

2 really fast updates! yeah but uhm Laura has a little secret that she needs to tell Ross...

comment what you think Ross will say when she works up the courage to tell him... I haven't written it yet, so maybe I'll use some ideas. anyways, thanks for motivating me to get this up super fast! I love you guys you're all so important to me :)

so yeah, comment so we can talk! until then,

all my love,

haileexoxo