We Were Free

DAY 4

DAY 4

Before I go into this, I want to get one thing clear, I love my friends, I would probably die for them.

But...

On this car ride I would not hesitate to put a bullet in all of their heads.

It was 8:00 am and we were driving, last night we decided to head to Moab, typically it's only a 5 ½ hour drive, but Kieran felt the need to go the "scenic route" which is basically 8 hours and hellish.

When we left school yesterday we stopped by everyone's house so they could pack and what ever, then at Kieran's we rearranged the two long seats in the back so they sat against the side windows, so the people in the back could see each other while we rode, then, in typical Kieran fashion, he showed us that under the floor there was a mattress with a wood base that could be put between the seats on tiny ledges to make a bed.

And that's where Annabelle and Cassidy were laying now, singing Feelin' Myself for the 9000th time. I had never heard the song before and now I was 100% sure I could preform it better than Nicki.

"Guys! Look!" Kieran said, pointing up at the rocks above us.

"What?" Cassidy asked, looking up.

"Those rocks, they're just cool looking," he said.

"You know, at one point they were probably animal shit," I pointed out.

"That puts things in a new light," Cassidy said, flopping back onto the bed.

"Will you guys quit bitching? We're almost there," Kieran muttered.

"Your fault for choosing to take the 'scenic route' or whatever," I muttered.

"Here's something scenic!" Annabelle yelled, holding up her middle finger.

"What was the point of that?" Kieran asked.

"To show my love and affection," she laughed flashing a fake smile.

"Bitch," Kieran muttered, focusing back on driving.

An hour later we pulled into the campsite, and I use the term campsite loosely. It was literally an open field with a huge tree in the middle and a few holes that I guess were fire pits. Then on three sides of the field there were porta-potties. And I mean tons. Like "why spend money on a fence when we could surround the campground in shit boxes?" The other side had some willow trees and then a small beach and river, so yeah, basically we were in a shit hole surrounded by shit holes, and a river.

"Why did we pick this place?" Cassidy asked.

"Because, we are kind of broke, and this place was cheap," Kieran said, hoping out of the car and pulling some firewood we bought out of from under the mattress.

"I have to pee," I said, getting out of the car and heading to the fortress of porta-potties.

You might think that out of 100 porta-potties one would be clean. And that's where you're wrong, out of ten I checked, I found one I might have considered peeing in... until I saw the dead raccoon floating in the shit hole. So eventually I resolved to pee in the bushes, and hopefully hold everything else until we left.

By the time I came back Cassidy, Kieran, and Annabelle had set up the hammocks we all bought last year in the tree.

"Hey!" I yelled up.

"What?" Kieran yelled down.

"Give me your keys!" I yelled.

"Why?" he asked.

"I need to do something!" I called.

"Fine," he groaned, like our 5 sentence conversation had exhausted him, he dropped the keys down.

"Can I come?" Cassidy asked.

"Sure!" I called, "hurry."

That was a mistake. Telling Cassidy to hurry makes her think she has to move like her life depends on it, so basically she got out of the tree by falling from branch to branch, and finally crashed down on her back at my feet.

"Sexy," I said, "let's go."

She got up and walked over to the Bronco, started the car and drove off.

"So, where are we going?" Cassidy asked.

"To the bank," I said, staring ahead at the road. I hadn't driven in months and I honestly was terrified.

"Why? Do you need to deposit a cancer check?" she laughed.

"What the fuck does that even mean?" I asked.

"I don't know, I just am trying to find a way to talk about it," she said, somewhat seriously.

"What's there to talk about?" I asked.

"Steven! You're dying!" She cried, "I'm gonna lose my best friend!"

"Cass," I said, putting my hand on her leg, "it's gonna be ok."

"No! No it's not!" she yelled, almost crying, "Steven, when you left, I fucking broke," she said, calming down, "I felt lonely for weeks, until I finally accepted it, and got used to just Skyping you, not being able to hug you, or cry on your shoulder. If you die, I will go out of my mind."

"We have nine months," I said, "we have nine months, let's not fill it with all this death bullshit."

"You can't avoid it, it's gonna get to you eventually," she sighed, sliding down in her chair.

There was a time where I thought Cassidy didn't care about me, I thought she just needed someone who was such a fuck up that she seemed great, but today she made me realize I had never been so wrong.

She actually cared.